Dance Moms, Episode 5 - "Revenge of the Replacements"

"Fatty fatty fatty fatty fatty." - Clever American Insult.

The Bachelor, Sean Lowe - Episode 4

Is that a rattlesnake crawling up Sean's pants, or is he just canoodling with the Iraqi Jamie Lynn Sigler?

The Millionaire Matchmaker, Episode 3 - "A Tale of Two Jimmys"

We want pre-nup. We want pre-nup. Yeah.

Dance Moms, Episode 4 - "Liar Liar Dance Mom on Fire!"

Hoarding: Buried Alive - Abby Lee's garage.

The Bachelor, Sean Lowe - Episode 3

Sean's like a born-again virgin in a titty store.

The Millionaire Matchmaker, Episode 2 - "Dr. Frankenstein & Mr. Hip Hop"

Barney designs suits?

Dance Moms, Season 3 Episode 3 - "But I'm A National Champion!"

Uh-buh-bye.

The Millionaire Matchmaker, Episode 1 - "Wounded Wally and the Mama's Boy"

Patti Stanger is the Benjamin Button of 50-something women who pursue costly youth-sustaining medical procedures.

Dance Moms, Episode 2 - "Out With The Old, In With The New"

Abby changes dancers like she changes her underwear - quarterly.

The Bachelor, Sean Lowe - Episode 1

Asexual Sean does his best non-asexual person impression.

The Challenge, Battle of the Seasons - Finale & Reunion

You lose. Whomp whomp.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Episode 7 - "Oy, Faye!"

Right before master thespian Kyle Richards leans dramatically on the door and sighs heavily.

The Bachelorette - Ashley and JP's Wedding

"If things don't work out, Ash, I'd still fuck you." - Chris Harrison

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons, Episode 11 - "Like to Move It, Move It"

Let us pray, before we talk mad shit behind each other's backs.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Episode 6 - "She's Gone Too Far"

Secrets, secrets are no fun...

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons, Episode 10 - "Woman Scorned"

Sam, making a miraculous recovery, rolls around in a tube.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Episode 5 - "Girls Gone Ojai'ld"

An adult person who does the splits at parties is offended by the F-word.

Real Housewives of Atlanta, Episode 5 - "No Excuse for Excuses"

If Kim's exit means never having to see images like this again, I'm down.

The Challenge: Battle of the Seasons, Episode 9 - "The Chronicles of Nanyia"

This argument ends with a lesbian in a flower pot.

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Episode 4 - "Uh Oh, Somebody's Crying!"

"Somebody's crying." - Chris Isaak and Adrienne Maloof