Summer House Recap, Season 3, Episode 3 - "Firework Starter"

The gang hits the beach...


DANIELLE - Well, I've got to go catch a train. Big presentation in Milwaukee this week. 

HANNAH - I thought it was Chicago. 

DANIELLE - That was last week. My company was created specifically to give presentations in Midwestern markets. **leaves** 

LINDSAY - So, Jordan, how was hooking up with Danielle?

JORDAN -  It was just a make-out. I've gone further with my cousin Chad. 

LINDSAY - But who do you like more? Paige or Danielle? And, yes, I am well into my 30s, why do you ask. 

JORDAN - To put it kindly, Paige is the one you take to internet church while you facetime with your grandma. 

PAIGE - Aw. 

JORDAN - And Danielle is the one you throw into a trash heap on Sunday, two days before it's picked up by Streets and San. 

KYLE - He's got a way with words, this one. 




Kyle and Amanda visit the plant of their new beverage venture, while the manufacturer prepares a tasting... 

KYLE - I'm feeling good about this venture. It's another Four Loko in the making. 

BEVERAGE MANUFACTURER - **to Amanda** And you're his partner? 

AMANDA - I'm just here to support him by criticizing his drinking habits.

KYLE - That's all she ever does. Literally. 

AMANDA - One time I chopped vegetables passive-aggressively. 

KYLE - You see, I cheated on her. 

AMANDA - He cheated on me. But he was blacked out. 

KYLE - And I regret it. I'm never gonna find taters like this on another girl. 

AMANDA - Aw. That's sweet. **they kiss ** 

BEVERAGE MANUFACTURER - Do you two want to, uh, taste the product? **looks at his watch**

KYLE - This guy's got a lot to learn about products developed solely for the sake of a reality show storyline. 




The bros have bro time at the house... 

KYLE - Bro time, Bro! 

CARL - Send it! 

JORDAN -  It's already been sended! 

CARL - Lit! 

KYLE - Fleek! 

CARL - Millennial term I might be too old to use!

KYLE - But seriously. Jordan, tell us about the inner workings of your heart. Have you found love this summer?

JORDAN -  You may have heard my trash heap metaphor earlier. It still stands. 

DANIELLE - **pops out of nowhere** Hey, guys! 

JORDAN -  Fucknuts.

DANIELLE - Don't worry, I didn't hear. Oxy.

JORDAN -   I know which pharmaceutical company I'm giving thanks to during my next internet church session. 




Danielle meets the girls out for dinner...

LINDSAY - Hey, just to follow up on the mountain of humiliation we've piled upon you, Jordan isn't in to you. 

HANNAH - He said it to all of us. And now we are saying it to you. 

DANIELLE - If I was capable of thinking about anything beyond "the D", I'd be extremely upset with the immature way this has been communicated. 

**the girls awkwardly sip their drinks**

DANIELLE - But I'm not. Party on, Wayne! **they toast**



The gang comes home after a long day of drinking to find Hannah in bed...

PAIGE - Man oh man, do you miss out by not doing coke. 

HANNAH - It's ok. I was ranked 15th in the country in tennis in high school.

PAIGE - This has nothing to do with tennis. At all.

HANNAH - Everything has to do with tennis. 

EVERETT - **sneaking into Lindsey's room** Lindsey, it's time to make some Love.

HANNAH - See?

THE END.