David and Annie move from the firehouse into the storage facility...
DAVID - Hey, look! A tampon dispenser in the bathroom! Not gonna find that in the firehouse, that's for sure.
ANNIE - You know, one time Guy Fieri came into the Suck Dick Bar. And I said to myself, you wait, Annie. You can get better.
DAVID - Aw. You knew I was coming for you.
ANNIE - I should have gone with Guy Fieri.
DAVID - **tries to open a window** Who needs a window, anyway? Windows are nothing more than a way to kill yourself.
DAVID - **tries to open a window** Who needs a window, anyway? Windows are nothing more than a way to kill yourself.
ANNIE - I need a window.
FORMER STORAGE FACILITY MANAGER - Oooooh. That's dark.
DAVID - Why are you still here?
FORMER STORAGE FACILITY MANAGER - Forgot my acne cream.
Robalee confronts Azan in Morocco...
ROBALEE - We both know Nicole is a fucking idiot.
AZAN - Yes .
ROBALEE - And she believes that you get together with your friends, drink Truly, and prank call women about missing their kisses.
AZAN - She totally bought it.
ROBALEE - As for Mama Robalee, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
AZAN - We use "couscous cart" in that idiom here.
ROBALEE - Whatever. You've got to tell her the truth.
AZAN - You're right. It wasn't Truly, it was White Claw.
ROBALEE - Shameful.
AZAN - Yes .
ROBALEE - And she believes that you get together with your friends, drink Truly, and prank call women about missing their kisses.
AZAN - She totally bought it.
ROBALEE - As for Mama Robalee, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck.
AZAN - We use "couscous cart" in that idiom here.
ROBALEE - Whatever. You've got to tell her the truth.
AZAN - You're right. It wasn't Truly, it was White Claw.
ROBALEE - Shameful.
Anfisa and Jorge have lunch in Arizona...
ANFISA - A woman claiming to be your high school girlfriend called. She said you fathered her child.
JORGE - Impossible.
ANFISA - That's what I said. No US citizen would willingly sleep with you.
JORGE - True, I didn't use protection when I ejaculated into her womb while she was ovulating. But there's no way I'm a parent.
ANFISA - Breasts of your size and shape are a good indicator of parenthood, actually.
JORGE - **looks out the window** Fuck, the DEA is here.
ANFISA - Why couldn't I find an "entrepreneur" who works in computers?
**Jorge goes to jail**
AZAN - I have to tell you something.
NICOLE - Your Conair straightener is on the fritz?
AZAN - No. That voicemail of me calling another girl? That was my voice.
NICOLE - But you said it was a joke you played with your friends. It all made perfect sense!
AZAN - Oh, Nicole. There's a reason God gave you a not-completely-hideous face.
NICOLE - Because I'm fat?
AZAN - Ok, so two reasons.
At the house of the Family Chatel, after the big fight...
MOTHER CHANTEL - Pedro y Nicole es muy mal por la familia. Muy mal.
CHANTEL - You can speak in English now.
RIVER - Yeah. The only people who speak Spanish took an Ikea paper lamp to the FACE, son!
MOTHER CHANTEL - Muy muy muy mal.
FATHER CHANTEL - You hire a private investigator on someone, and they shit all over you.
WINTER - **on the floor, picking up food**Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
CHANTEL - Um.... I'll be right back. **runs back to Pedro at full speed**
NICOLE - Your Conair straightener is on the fritz?
AZAN - No. That voicemail of me calling another girl? That was my voice.
NICOLE - But you said it was a joke you played with your friends. It all made perfect sense!
AZAN - Oh, Nicole. There's a reason God gave you a not-completely-hideous face.
NICOLE - Because I'm fat?
AZAN - Ok, so two reasons.
At the house of the Family Chatel, after the big fight...
MOTHER CHANTEL - Pedro y Nicole es muy mal por la familia. Muy mal.
CHANTEL - You can speak in English now.
RIVER - Yeah. The only people who speak Spanish took an Ikea paper lamp to the FACE, son!
MOTHER CHANTEL - Muy muy muy mal.
FATHER CHANTEL - You hire a private investigator on someone, and they shit all over you.
WINTER - **on the floor, picking up food**Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
CHANTEL - Um.... I'll be right back. **runs back to Pedro at full speed**
THE END.
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