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| Tamra Judge and Ryan Vieth |
Tamra takes her son Ryan to the doctor...
DR. LEE - Well, we got the results for Ryan's blood work.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - And?
DR. LEE - We found gravel, cones, and paint. All consistent with parking lots.
RYAN VIETH -. Fuck, bro.
DR. LEE - You're in danger of a coronary event, like the one your great-grandfather died from.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - How do you know about that?
DR. LEE - I read your blog. Huge fan.
At the Beador Christmas party...
SHANNON BEADOR - Welcome to the Buh-DORE Christmas party. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!
TAMRA BARNEY - Can you take it down a notch? My jumpsuit splits at the slightest provocation.
RANDO KID - Mrs. Beater, can I have a candy unicorn?
SHANNON BEADOR - It's Mrs. Buh-DORE. And yes, you may. **whispers** Stuff that unicorn up your asshole, you little shit.
JOE GREGORIO - Mmmmm, mac and cheeeethe.
DANIELLE GREGORIO - I swear to god, if your gay ass keeps me from getting a spot in the cast...
Out on the patio...
HEATHER DUBROW - Fabulous news. I've been offered a gig to cohost Good Day LA, and they want CUT Fitness as our first segment.
EDDIE JUDGE - Wow! Will Steve Edwards be there????
HEATHER DUBROW - He's always there. He's the host. Why?
EDDIE JUDGE - Um, no reason.
HEATHER DUBROW - What's wrong, Tamra? You look like your son just got an inner lip tattoo.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Nothing, it's just all the testosterone.
HEATHER DUBROW - I thought testosterone made you aggressive, but you seem rather calm -
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - YOU PUT ANOTHER STUDIO ON THE AIR BEFORE MINE, WHOVILLE!
EDDIE JUDGE - Ah, there's that T. If you can spare any, lemme know.
HEATHER DUBROW - Tamra, I have no control over which guests are chosen.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Really? Then why did Terry text me to say he told you not to do the segment?
TERRY DUBROW - Oh shit.
HEATHER DUBROW - Is that true, Terry?
TERRY DUBROW - Hey, did you guys know my brother was in Quiet Riot? Pretty cool, huh?
Heather enters the living room...
LIZZIE ROVSEK - Oh Heather! We were all just talking about you.
HEATHER DUBROW - Nothing bad, I hope.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - Actually, all bad.
DANIELLE GREGORIO - Fuck, this bitch just beat me out for the open cast spot.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - Yep.
SHANNON BEADOR - You told Tamra to "pick a side"?
HEATHER DUBROW -What? Of course not. **to Tamra** You told her?!
TAMRA BARNEY - Sorry. It's the testosterone.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Damn, it feels good to be a bystander.
HEATHER DUBROW - **checks phone** Oh, look, my kid is dying.
TERRY DUBROW - Guess we better head out.
HEATHER DUBROW - Can we get some candy unicorns for the road? No rush.
THE END.
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