The Challenge: Free Agents Recap, Episode 8 - "Strike a Pose, There's Something to It"

Johnny Bananas

Outside the house...

JOHNNY BANANAS - Let's all take a moment to recognize the rotting cat carcass that's rested atop Devyn's head for the last few weeks.

DEVYN SIMONE - Hey, man - a Bangladeshi woman died to make that thing.

JOHNNY REILLY - Sweet, we get to have two funerals. **chugs glass of wine**

Inside the house...

JOHNNY REILLY  - I'm feeling really horny from today's funerals.

NANY GONZALEZ - Me too, actually. **they fuck**

The next morning...

JOHNNY BANANAS - I got some good gossip, guys.

LEROY GARRETT - Laurel has day-old chunks of crab cake stuck in her mustache? Everybody already knows about that.

JOHNNY BANANAS - No, Nany and Johnny had sex on a couch last night.

LEROY GARRETT - Great, another piece of furniture to burn.

ZACH NICHOLS - What about Cohutta?

JOHNNY BANANAS - He wasn't there.

CT TAMBURELLO - Here's some evidence. **holds up Johnny's underwear**

ZACH NICHOLS - Hey, I didn't get any free UnderArmour underpants. **flicks the elastic on his Hanes**

At the challenge....

TJ LAVIN - Your challenge today is to hang from elastic straps.

CARA MARIA SORBELLO - Yeah, baby.

TJ LAVIN - Fully clothed, perv.

CARA MARIA SORBELLO - Aw man.

JOHNNY BANANAS - This is easier than Jonna. We've got Mini Tree Nymph on our team.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - That's Mister Mini Tree Nymph, please. **he's hoisted above the earth**

DEVYN SIMONE - I knew you should have shaved that beard, CT.

CT TAMBURELLO - What? It's only an extra seven pounds to hold up. ** a minute later** I think I'm going to die.

TJ LAVIN - Aaaaaaand your time is up. If you guys can't even hold up Little Person Cohutta, I doubt your ability to do much else.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - Ok, Brain Damage.

TJ LAVIN - Rude.

On the same couch Nany fucked Johnny on...

NANY GONZALEZ - I have to tell you something.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - You kissed somebody?

NANY GONZALEZ - Um... right.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - Phew. As long as you didn't, like, have sex.

**awkward silence**

At The Draw...

JOHNNY BANANAS - Eenie meenie miney mo... **pulls blank**

TJ LAVIN - That was so stupid.

JOHNNY BANANAS - Whatever you say, Head Injury.

TJ LAVIN - Rude.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - **pulls kill card** NOOOOOOOOOOO!

JOHNNY BANANAS - Dude, it's just Preston.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF  - Oh yeah. Good point. **wins** And now I get to go back to my dark-eyed, dark-haired Latina.

JOHNNY BANANAS - Who fucks other dudes on communal furniture.

COHUTTA GRINDSTAFF - Excuse me?

JOHNNY BANANAS - Ignore me. I think I'm coming down with bird flu.

The girls pull for The Draw...

LAUREL STUCKEY - **pulls kill card**

ANEESA FERREIRA - Fucking SHIT.

ANEESA FERREIRA - Damn straight. I'm sex-starved and ready to take out my frustration on a lesbian.

LAUREL STUCKEY - Ev really needs to start doing these things again. **loses in the Oppenheimer**

LAUREL STUCKEY - Aneesa, you're going home.

ANEESA FERREIRA - Duh, 'Stache.

LAUREL STUCKEY - I've just always wanted to say that.


THE END.