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| Tracie Thoms and Nev Schulman. |
Max and Nev skype with Tracie Thoms...
TRACIE THOMS - Hello. I starred in Quentin Tarantino's Death Proof.
MAX JOSEPH - Man, Rose McGowan has NOT aged well.
TRACIE THOMS - I'm not Rose McGowan, you dick. I was one of the "bad asses" in the car.
NEV SCHULMAN - I've never heard of you, but you live in Los Angeles, which means I get to make out with my girlfriend on camera.
MAX JOSEPH - He really wants to prove to everyone that he's not gay.
TRACIE THOMS - I don't think having actual intercourse with a million women on camera would prove that.
Nev and Max arrive at Tracie's very humble abode...
NEV SCHULMAN - So this is what being in a Tarantino movie will buy you in Hollywood, huh?
MAX JOSEPH - Samuel L. Jackson must live in a cardboard box.
TRACIE THOMS - You both should know that my Catfish is not romantic in nature. It's just a lesbian trying to have sex with me.
MAX JOSEPH - Nice. Got pics? **Tracie shows pics of Sammie** I regret asking.
TRACIE THOMS - She's my biggest fan. Well, she'd be my biggest fan if I had more than one.
MAX JOSEPH - So is there a problem? Or do you just want to publicize the independent film you're working on?
TRACIE THOMS - Of course not! The problem is that Sammie created and killed off a person named Reese, **coughs** and my independent film is available on Netflix starting July 1st.
Nev and Max sit down to do research...
NEV SCHULMAN - Well, Tracie already called the funeral home from the photo of Reese's funeral.
MAX JOSEPH - We should stick to working with dumb people so we appear useful.
NEV SCHULMAN - We could still round up other D-List celebs Sammie's stalked, and see how many times they say the word "zealous."
MAX JOSEPH - Sounds good to me.
The group flies to Philadephia and approach Sammie on the street...
MAX JOSEPH - Excuse me, Lizbian?
SAMANTHA DAVIS - That's Samantha, to you.
MAX JOSEPH - Oh. Ok, Samantha. Did you Catfish Tracie here?
SAMANTHA DAVIS - I did. My parents are deaf and I needed a creative outlet.
NEV SCHULMAN - Makes sense. Ok, thanks for everything! **starts to leave**
TRACIE THOMS - Wait, we're not done.
NEV SCHULMAN - Geez, somebody who doesn't have a girlfriend in Los Angeles to kiss has all the time in the world, huh?
TRACIE THOMS - Why did you give Reese cancer and stage her funeral?
SAMANTHA DAVIS - I was in too deep, and luckily, my cousin died that same week.
NEV SCHULMAN - You could use your talents for good, you know. There's caulking, carpentry, and Birkenstock repair.
SAMANTHA DAVIS - Do those hobby suggestions have anything to do with me being a lesbian?
NEV SCHULMAN - What?!? No way. They just, um, came to me.
THE END.
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