 |
| Hoes. |
Briana brings Troy and salad to Vicki's office...
BRIANA WOLFSMITH CULBERSON - I need you to come with us to Oklahoma to find a house.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Ew.
BRIANA WOLFSMITH CULBERSON - Mom, I need to follow my disturbed rage-addled husband wherever he goes.
VICKI GUNVALSON - You'll be back.
BRIANA WOLFSMITH CULBERSON - No, I won't. I'd rather do a white person Trail of Tears than be within a three-state radius of Brooks.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Aw, cmon. He's not that bad.
BRIANA WOLFSMITH CULBERSON - Next week, he's going to say his favorite part about you is your vagina.
VICKI GUNVALSON - **smiles** Really?
BRIANA WOLFSMITH CULBERSON - It's not a compliment, Mom.
At the Dubrow groundbreaking party, David talks to Jim Edmond's wife...
DAVID BEADOR - Hey, girl. Want a shot?
SHANNON BEADOR - You never ask me if I want a shot.
DAVID BEADOR - Chill. They're free. **hands her one**
HEATHER DUBROW - Look who finally decided to show up and take full advantage of the open bar.
SHANNON BEADOR - I'm so sorry. You know I wouldn't miss your dirt-pushing ceremony for the world.
HEATHER DUBROW - It's called groundbreaking.
SHANNON BEADOR - Oh yeah. David was coaching basketball.
DAVID BEADOR - You know how that goes, Terry!
HEATHER DUBROW - Actually, he doesn't. He's an inside dad.
TERRY DUBROW - I'm killer with a weaving loom.
HEATHER DUBROW - I hope you're all happy that you missed the part where my family all put on hard hats and dug with plastic shovels.
SHANNON BEADOR - Aw, man. Next time.
HEATHER DUBROW - There won't BE a next time.
TERRY DUBROW - What about when the Hamiltons upsize and their square footage surpasses ours?
HEATHER DUBROW - Shut up, Terry.
Vicki approaches Lizzie at the party...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Carrie, or Sookie, or whatever? I'm sorry I was rude to you in the limo.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - You were very rude. I was eighth-grade valedictorian of a class of seven, and deserve some respect.
VICKI GUNVALSON - You're absolutely right. I'm just not very good with hot young Mexican women.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - I see. Will you excuse me? I have to go feign an orgasm on a bull in front of all these children.
Heather gets on the bull...
DAVID BEADOR - Go, girl! Spread 'em and hump it hard!
HEATHER DUBROW - **disgusted** That's it. I'm done. **hops off bull**
DAVID BEADOR - Boooo! There goes my erection!
TAMRA JUDGE - My turn! I know a thing or two about having 850 pounds of cold steal in my lady taint.
EDDIE JUDGE - I think you lost everyone with that metaphor, honey.
TAMRA JUDGE - **rides** Whoooo! You can't tell from my face but I'm really enjoying myself!
HEATHER DUBROW - Turn it up, maestro.
BULL OPERATOR - Maestro? **blushes** I like that.
TAMRA JUDGE - **flies off bull** Oh, my arm!
HEATHER DUBROW - You're fired.
BULL OPERATOR - But... but... What about "maestro"?
HEATHER DUBROW - Take this twenty and get the fuck out.
To be continued....
No comments:
Post a Comment