 |
| Shannon and David Beador |
At the Beador residence...
DAVID BEADOR - Are you packed?
SHANNON BEADOR - For what?
DAVID BEADOR - Our trip two miles away for less than 24 hours.
SHANNON BEADOR - You didn't!
DAVID BEADOR - I did.
SHANNON BEADOR - David, this is more romantic than the time you held in a fart during dinner with my parents.
DAVID BEADOR - Wear the red dress that I like. The one that least makes it look like your tits are a saggy mess.
SHANNON BEADOR - Ok. **takes a swig of Mikes Hard** Gonna need this if I'm going to pretend your soft dick satisfies me.
At Danielle's Ugly Sweater Party...
DANIELLE - Hi, I'm Danielle! My gay husband and I are auditioning to be the next Real Housewives of Orange County -
LIZZIE ROVSEK - **pushes gay husband** Move it, Lady Voice.
DANIELLE'S GAY HUSBAND - **rubs his arm** Ow.
HEATHER DUBROW - I don't know if putting poinsettias on a super tight shirt counts as an "ugly sweater".
LIZZIE ROVSEK - Uh oh, somebody'd pissed cuz they look gross...
HEATHER DUBROW - Oh yeah? Anagram.
LIZZIE ROVSEK - Nice try. I know that word.
HEATHER DUBROW - Shit. The 2004 skirt threw me for a loop.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Hey, I don't know that word!
HEATHER DUBROW - Aw. You are just so, so fucking stupid.
Brooks and Vicki go on a date to Hannah's...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Great quesadillas. Oh yeah, and Briana wishes you would die in a kitchen fire at Wendy's.
BROOKS AYERS - Do I look like somebody who'd eat at Wendys?
WAITRESS - And for you, sir?
BROOKS AYERS - Junior Bacon Cheeseburger. Thanks.
VICKI GUNVALSON - I just think you're the bomb dot com.
BROOKS AYERS - Hey, that horribly dated phrase is only ok when I say it.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Oh.
BROOKS AYERS - Besides, only words like "deodorant" and "fecal impaction" are appropriate for such a work of perfection that only a scalpel can achieve.
VICKI GUNVALSON - You always say the right things.
Tamra and Eddie have date night...
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - I guess we should talk about this baby thing.
EDDIE JUDGE - Right now? I'm still nauseous from my third protein shake.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - I miss my kids, and with you, I'll get to see my baby all the time. Until you run off with Danielle's husband, that is.
EDDIE JUDGE - We can have a baby, as long as I can sign away all parental rights. Things are really picking up at the gym.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - But it takes two to fuck up a kid to the point he gets an inner lip tattoo.
EDDIE JUDGE - The very last thing the word needs is another Ryan Vieth.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - That's true.
THE END.
No comments:
Post a Comment