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| Eddie and Tamra at CUT Fitness |
Tamra sits in on Eddie's class at CUT Fitness...
EDDIE JUDGE - And squat. And lean. And purge. And mack.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Look at me, Eddie! I wore my hair down to work out!
EDDIE JUDGE - And push. And squeeze. And milk.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Now I'm wearing a super cool backwards cap!
EDDIE JUDGE - And swerve. And dip. And queef.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Stop looking at the young thangs! I'm here, I'm your wife!
TAMRA'S SON RYAN - Mom, come quick. Somebody shaved their pubes over the drinking fountain.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - Motherfucker. **waves desperately to Eddie** Bye, honey!
EDDIE JUDGE - **ignores her** And bounce. And squirt. Uh huh. That's right.
Heather looks at Shannon's house with no intention to purchase...
HEATHER DUBROW - For some reason the producers forced me to look at your Grey Gardens piece of shit that I feel like I should be wearing a Hazmat suit in.
SHANNON BEADER - But we have no wifi, so your brain will feel extra clean. Krispy Kale Fluffer?
HEATHER DUBROW - No thank you. Ugh, was Clue filmed here?
SHANNON BEADER - No, but it lacks all modern conveniences. So there's that.
HEATHER DUBROW - Wait. Hold the phone. Why are the camera men zooming in on your family portrait? You're just a realtor!
SHANNON BEADER - But I'm also a Housewife.
HEATHER DUBROW - NOOOOOOOOO!
SHANNON BEADER - Almond flour spinach cookie?
Vicki visits Briana and her son Troy...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Well, you've certainly shattered any hopes and dreams I had for you. My daughter, the barefoot military wife Oklahoman.
BRIANA WOLFSMITH GUNVALSON CULBERT JONES - You forgot pregnant.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Believe me, I'm trying to.
BRIANA WOLFSMITH GUNVALSON CULBERT JONES - Oklahoma's like any other place, mom.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Except it sucks. They sent Native Americans there to punish them.
**silence**
BRIANA WOLFSMITH GUNVALSON CULBERT JONES - Brooks was toothless when you met him.
VICKI GUNVALSON - I'm going to ignore that.
Vicki and Tamra have dinner with Heather in Hawaii...
VICKI GUNVALSON - We're gonna get you to chug that champs and whoop it up, Fancy Pants.
HEATHER DUBROW - Sorry, I'm not interested in urinating on a bed tonight like SOME PEOPLE.
Vicki, Tamra and Heather eat Road Shrimp...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Chlamydia's not a tree, it's a disease.
HEATHER DUBROW - Speaking and existing are not your strong suits, eh?
Vicki swerves while driving Heather and Tamra in a Jeep...
VICKI GUNVALSON - Whoooooa!
HEATHER DUBROW - Add driving to the list of things you suck at.
The group takes surfing lessons...
VICKI GUNVALSON - **whispers to Tamra** Am I being too sensitive, or is Heather kind of mean to me?
HEATHER DUBROW - Sylvia Plath yourself, beef face.
TAMRA BARNEY JUDGE - You're being too sensitive.
THE END.
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