Ashley and Jenny. |
Jamie confronts Ashley about her dranking...
JAMIE - You busy?
ASHLEY - Kinda. Straightening hair that hasn't been washed in a fortnight ain't easy.
JAMIE - Well, just listen to what I have to say. When you're drunk, you're like a skinnier but more obnoxious Mama June. When you're sober, you're cool.
ASHLEY - That's funny, because whether I'm drunk or sober, I still think you're an uptight cunt.
JAMIE - Uptight?!? I have tats! And gauges! Massive, gaping gauges!
ASHLEY - Sorry. Uptight.
**Silence, while Ashley straightens**
JAMIE - You know what I've found works to help resolve differences?
ASHLEY - What?
JAMIE - Riding around the city in a fire truck.
In the Castro...
ARIELLE - Welcome to the Castro, roommates! I'm ready to do my lesbian thing, which involves rolling around on the floor.
PEANUT GALLERY JAY - With other chicks?
ARIELLE - Nope, just by myself. **rolls**
JENNY - **dances up on some women** Haaaay.
CORY - Stop that! I'm not cool with you dancing with anybody who isn't me. Not with girls, not with your dad at your sister's wedding.
JENNY - Um... Toofuckingbad. And I don't have a sister.
CORY - I'm the one who's usually in charge.
JENNY - Well, I'm the one who's usually in charge.
CORY - So what do we do?
JENNY - Fuck against a wall in full view of our roommates.
CORY - K.
Thomas and Jamie talk S-E-X...
THOMAS - I've only slept with three women in my life.
JAMIE - Loser! We all have infections and viruses and YOU DON'T! What a DORK!
THOMAS - There goes number four.
JAMIE - Noooooo!
THOMAS - Sorry. I want sex to be meaningful.
JAMIE - What if I put on some Luther Vandross?
THOMAS - Hmmmm.**they fuck**
The next day, at a club, Thomas and Jamie become "official"...
THOMAS - You're my girl.
RANDO - Hi, I'm Sharon, and I -
JAMIE - **pushes rando** GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM, WHORE.
THOMAS - You gotta stop doing that. It's a major turnoff.
JAMIE - Even more than these? **flaps earlobes in his face**
THOMAS - **shudders**
On the street after the club...
DUDE ON THE STREET I - Woooo! Real World!
ARIELLE - Back off.
DUDE ON THE STREET II - Hurray! Real World San Francisco Explosion!
ARIELLE -I said, back off, son!
CORY - I'll take care of this, Woman. **pushes dude**
ARIELLE - WEAK. **pushes dude and Cory** That's called growing up in Oakland.
Back at the house, Cory Knocks Over Things...
CORY - I am very mad about Dude On The Street I and Dude On The Sreet II getting in the frame of a segment that was only supposed to be about us!
JENNY - Why don't you sit down?
CORY - No! I am very mad!
JENNY - At least stop punching your fist into your palm.
CORY - Never!
JENNY - I'm going to leave then.
CORY - Fine! **pushes her out of the confessional**
ARIELLE - WEAK.
To be continued...
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