The ladies take a trip on a gondola in Palm Springs...
CARLTON GEBBIA - Oh, look. Disease carrying creatures from Mother Earth's womb.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - I have a name, you know.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Not you. The squirrels. **starts to lick and kiss a squirrel**
KIM RICHARDS - Wow. I'd love to feel the caress of a warm-blooded being. It's been 40 years.
KYLE RICHARDS - Kingsley is a warm-blooded being.
KIM RICHARDS - Pshaw. Get real. I know science.
CARLTON GEBBIA - Come along, then, Kim!
KIM RICHARDS - **pets squirrel** Niiiiiiice. Niiiiiice.
**squirrel leaves Kim to burrow up Kyle's ass**
KIM RICHARDS - **to Kyle** You always have to win, don't you?
At dinner...
BRANDI GLANVILLE - If you fuck with my friends, Kyle, you fuck with me. **falls asleep at the table**
LISA VANDERPUMP - Quite a threat, there.
KYLE RICHARDS - You guys are so MEAN! **heads to the bathroom to cry, motions at cameraman to follow her**
YOLANDA FOSTER - **knocks on bathroom door** Can you hurry up in there? That tuna tartar made me have to do something other than cry.
KYLE RICHARDS - **opens door, clings to Yo** Don't they see?!? It doesn't matter if I have a perfect life, it matters that people THINK I have a perfect life!
YOLANDA FOSTER - Um.... There there?
KYLE RICHARDS - I've heard better.
YOLANDA FOSTER - Uh... how about I hold you in my muscular Dutch arms?
KYLE RICHARDS - Ok. **nuzzles** They feel... So good.
YOLANDA FOSTER - Intervals. That's the key.
Lisa comes into Kim's room to comfort Kyle...
KYLE RICHARDS - This business with Mauricio, it's hard.
LISA VANDERPUMP - Sure sounds like it's hard, the cheeky bastard.
**Silence**
LISA VANDERPUMP - Sorry. That wasn't appropriate.
KIM RICHARDS - **pipes in from the bathroom** Well, when I was with gray-faced Ken and we were doing drugs off the motel bathroom floor, I -
LISA VANDERPUMP - **slams bathroom door on Kim** Like I was saying...
KIM RICHARDS - Hey! I had wisdom to impart! YOU'RE BEING DISMISSIVE!
LISA VANDERPUMP - Shhh, the adults are talking.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - You're so sessy, Carlton. **strokes her leg**
CARLTON GEBBIA - Uh, I thought we were only doing the lesbian thing for a plot line?
BRANDI GLANVILLE - I've had too much Yellowtail to think about plot lines. **strokes her Fuck You tattoo**
CARLTON GEBBIA - Oh, look! Yolanda and Lisa! What perfect timing!
YOLANDA FOSTER - We just came to say goodnight and to make sure the viewers see us in our sleepwear.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - Wassss wrong with you lame-ass grammas? Don't you know how to PARTY? **falls asleep**
BRANDI GLANVILLE - This is not fucking cool!!!!
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - Well, my house has been broken into four times. And my dog has been missing eight.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - It's not a competition, Yoyce!
JOYCE GIRAUD DE OHOVEN - I just wanted to comfort you, is all. PS - my dog was dead all eight times.
BRANDI GLANVILLE - **bawls** WHAAAAAAA!!!!
To be continued...
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