Teamwork. |
By the pool...
DIEM - Come for a run with me.
ANEESA - No. Ty's making bacon.
DIEM - C'mon. I'm not trying to say you're fat. But you're fat.
ANEESA - Doesn't look like Ty minds in the next episode.
DIEM - If you don't prepare for the final challenge, you're gonna end up like Big Easy.
ANEESA - Invited by MTV to appear on every season of The Challenge? I should be so lucky.
DIEM - Ugh, what did I expect from a Jewish Armenian black lesbian stripper?
ANEESA - Excuse me, that's MISS Jewish Armenian black lesbian stripper to you.
At the daily challenge...
TJ LAVIN - Everyone, this is a dog named Pookie. Her only purpose is to give the cameras something to focus in on when watching you walk through bamboo gets boring.
WES - And to cuddle with you on those steamy Phuket nights?
TJ LAVIN - Well, yes. That too. The catch to walking through the bamboo maze is that you'll be blinded and electrocuted.
CARA MARIA - Now that's my kinda maze!
TJ LAVIN - Down, girl.
**Ty and Leroy go into the maze, but don't move an inch**
LEROY - I have a newfound appreciation for Ray Charles.
TY - And Stevie Wonder.
LEROY - And James Earl Jones in The Sandlot.
TJ LAVIN - Can you two stop listing black blind people?
LEROY - Yes. But only because I don't know of any more.
TY - Good one, bro.
LEROY - Thanks.
Frank approaches the women about the area...
FRANK - Ladies, you've got to vote Jordan and Marlon into the arena.
JOHNNY BANANAS - It's a bad show of character that they didn't keep their word.
PAULA WALNUTS - Johnny, I take it you don't remember what happened on The Island.
JOHNNY BANANAS - Oh yeah. Well, this is different because they're lame.
Jordan watches as Frank cooks dinner...
JORDAN - How's the campaign going?
FRANK - HOW DARE YOU ASK ME ABOUT SOMETHING THAT DIRECTLY AFFECTS YOU IN THIS COMPETITION!!!
JORDAN - I'm just curious if I should finish eating this sorbet or start packing my stuff.
FRANK - FUCK YOU!!!! YOUR NAME NEVER CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH!!!!
JORDAN - Hey, man. Do what you gotta do.
FRANK - **attacks him** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!
The voting session begins...
JONNA - We'd like to vote for Preston and Knight. If you've ever had your privates caressed by a half-hand, you'd understand why.
TJ LAVIN- Ew. Who does everyone else vote for?
EVERYONE ELSE - **in unison** Jordan and Marlon.
TJ LAVIN - Sweet, I'm glad that went so fast. More time to cuddle with Pookie. **speeds off**
In the arena...
MARLON - Oklahoma drill, baby. Oklahoma drill.
TJ LAVIN - I don't know what the fuck you guys are talking about.
JORDAN - And you never will.
TJ LAVIN - And I'm perfectly ok with that. Just push each other down a hallway, ok?
JOHNNY BANANAS - **yelling from the deck** Gonna be a headbanger tonight!
TJ LAVIN - Johnny's officially become the crazy ranting grandpa of the group. Can you pipe down, gramps?
JOHNNY BANANAS - **shits his pants** What's that? My hearing's not so good anymore.
**Marlon and Jordan beat Ty and Leroy**
JORDAN - Oklahoma drill, baby. Oklahoma drill.
TJ LAVIN - You fuckers are weird.
THE END.
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