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| Uh oh, somebody hates Russians... |
At Erica's parents' house, Erica lays on her bed...
ERICA'S DAD - You coming into the office today?
ERICA GIMBEL - Dad, I was out late last night letting a doctor touch my collar bone glitter.
ERICA'S DAD - I understand, but you have to work on either furthering your career, or furthering your relationship to Rob. At first, I thought the Adderall addiction meant you picked your career...
ERICA GIMBEL - Nope. Recreation.
ERICA'S DAD - And then I thought the Walgreens AIDS test in your medicine cabinet meant you'd chosen your relationship.
ERICA GIMBEL- Nope. Club bathroom.
ERICA'S DAD - I just don't want you to be 35 and have no kids.
ERICA GIMBEL - Cuz if there's one thing the world needs, it's a stimulant-addicted parent with an inflated sense of physical attractiveness.
ERICA'S DAD - Touché. **tucks her in**
Ashlee and Casey meet up for speed dating...
CASEY COHEN - As a true "city girl", it makes perfect sense to be back in the suburbs for the third time this week, looking for a man who lives over an hour away from me.
ASHLEE WHITE - Totes. **Joey walks in** Uh oh. That piece of trash who has a job is here.
JOEY LAUREN - **seated across from a speed date** Whip it out and smack me across the face with it.
ASHLEE WHITE- Can you believe her, not taking hurry dating seriously?
CASEY COHEN - It's shameful. These are quality men.
SPEED DATER MAN - **taps waitresses' shoulder** Excuse me, miss. I need a fourth Patron shot before I drive my Ford Focus home to where I live with my parents.
ASHLEE WHITE- My kinda guy.
At Amanda's Drink Hanky White Party...
AMANDA BERTONCINI - This party is going so well. I sold 10 drink hankies, which offsets the cost of half of Chanel's bar tab!
JEFF HOFFMAN - And I feel so great, finally coming out of the closet.
AMANDA BERTONCINI - Huh?
JEFF HOFFMAN - The literal closet, my baby. Not the figurative one.
**they hear a commotion outside**
CHANEL OMARI - You Russian bitch!
AMANDA BERTONCINI - **runs outside** Hey hey hey! Who's throwing liquid at a party focused on a holder for liquids??
CHANEL OMARI - That piece of trash flicked water at me because I'm 27 and not married!
AMANDA BERTONCINI - Uh... How do you know that's why?
CHANEL OMARI - It's the same reason why that man over there is raising his eyebrow in my direction. GHETTO TRASH!
AMANDA BERTONCINI - I think you're going a little crazy about your sister getting married.
CHANEL OMARI - That's preposterous. **to a pole** No, I'm still single! FUCK YOU!!!!
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