 |
| Bryden doesn't need Des when he's knee deep in Montana snatch. |
Chris and Des go on a 1 on 1 in Munich...
CHRIS - First, we're gonna eat both ends of a sausage. Then, we're gonna take pictures with a gnome. And the grand finale is dorky polka dancing.
DESIREE HARTSOCK - Wow. Sounds great.
BRYDEN - Hey, guys. I hate to interrupt, but -
CHRIS - YOU MOTHERFUCKER, TRYING TO CUT INTO MY TIME! DIE IN A FIRE!
**awkward silence**
BRYDEN - Ahem. But I wanted Des to know that I'm not into silver eyeshadow, so I'm leaving.
CHRIS - Oh.
Zak pulls Des aside on the mountain...
ZAK - Last time I was here in Europe, I was contemplating leading a life of celibacy and being a priest.
DES - A priest? Are you serious?
ZAK - No. Have you seen my abs? **pulls up shirt** I was just listening to Judas Priest on the regs and having a lot of anal. Same dif.
Des takes Michael and Ben to dinner for the 2 on 1...
DES - So, um, do you guys like family traditions?
MICHAEL - Des, I'll take it from here, if you don't mind. I'm a lawyer.
DES - Oh, ok. Go ahead.
MICHAEL - Ben, why haven't you mentioned your son since the first night you trotted him out for the cameras?
BEN - That's easy. It's difficult to talk about him because I miss him so much.
MICHAEL - And if you're such a religo, how come you sat on the couch watching David Hasselhoff videos while the rest of us went to church?
BEN - Duh, I have bunions.
MICHAEL - And how come all the other guy hate your ugly guts?
BEN - I'm not here to make friends.
MICHAEL - And why -
BEN - You know what? I'm not going to engage in this. I am a good, CHRISTIAN man. **under his breath** Jew Jew Jew Jew Jew.
MICHAEL - Did you hear that, Des?
DES - I did. Ben, I'll tolerate narcissism, duplicitousness, and absentee dadism, but I do NOT tolerate anti-Semitism. My grandpa knew a Jewish guy in primary school, and I heard he was cool. Please leave.
BEN - Fine. Have fun with Woody Allen over here. I'll be living the single dad glamour life in Texas. **leaves**
**Des and Michael sit in awkward silence**
At the rose ceremony...
DES - Mikey, please return to your toilets in Chicago. You do not get a rose.
MIKEY - Dat der's fucked up.
JAMES - Peace out, bro. I'll introduce you to all those tall, good-looking women with lots of money when I get back in town.
DES - Excuse me?
JAMES - Shit.
THE END.
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