Princesses: Long Island Recap, Episode 5 - "Intermenschion"

Erica has polyps in her anus.

Catfish Recap, Episode 1 - "Cassie & Steve"

Study hard, kids, so your friends don't make up fake people to seduce you with.

The Bachelorette Recap, Desiree Hartsock - Episode 5

Bryden doesn't need Des when he's knee deep in Montana snatch.

Princesses: Long Island Recap, Episode 4 - "Mr. Wrongs Don't Make A Right"

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Episode 12 - "Chicks and Salsa"

They call me John.

The Bachelorette Recap, Desiree Hartsock - Episode 3

Brad has almost as much charisma as a dirty gym sock.

Dance Moms Recap, Episode 23 - "Two Girls, One Solo"

Real Housewives of Orange County Recap, Episode 10 - "Viva Mexico"

Gretchen and Lauren the Horse have A LOT in common.

Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap, Episode 1 - "Garden State of Emergency"

Horsey Face and Chewbacca, reunited.

Princesses: Long Island Recap, Episode 1 - "You Had Me At Shalom"

Shabbat shalom, go fuck yourself.