 |
| Talkin' 'bout the D-word. |
At the windowless Dubrow estate...
HEATHER DUBROW - I do so much for this family, and all I get from you is jokes.
TERRY DUBROW - And a black Amex, windowless mansion, and cake with a half-eaten bow.
HEATHER DUBROW - Well, yeah, but mentioning those things doesn't really further our story line.
TERRY DUBROW - I said I was sorry. I don't know what more I can do.
HEATHER DUBROW - Sorry doesn't make up for the long hours I spent watching Jeopardy in the bedroom while the nanny tutored, clothed, bathed, tutored and tutored our children!
TERRY DUBROW - You said "tutored", like, eight times.
HEATHER DUBROW - Don't you get it?!? Only I am allowed to point out your mistakes, NOT the other way around!!!!!
TERRY DUBROW - You're right. The jokes are over. No more Good Time Charlie.
HEATHER DUBROW - Who?
TERRY DUBROW - I dunno, just sounds like a name I'd like to be called.
HEATHER DUBROW - Well, whatever you do, do not mention this argument to anybody.
TERRY DUBROW - Ok, I can do that.
The next day, in front of everyone in Malibu...
TERRY DUBROW - Hey, everybody! We're having problems and talking divorce!
HEATHER DUBROW - There's no need for a divorce, because I'm about to be a widow.
TERRY DUBROW - Oh fuck.
At the opening day of Sky Zone Anaheim
JIM BELLINO - I can't believe all these people showed up for Sky Zone's opening day.
ALEXIS BELLINO - It's almost like they knew there would be Bravo cameras here!
JIM BELLINO - No. It is because they all have an innate desire to jump, and I am the one who fulfilled that innate desire to jump. Do I have killer intuition, or is my hairline receding?
ALEXIS BELLINO - Um, both?
JIM BELLINO - Yep. And just imagine. In ten years, we will have sold enough Sky Zone admission tickets to pay for the best plugs money can buy.
ALEXIS BELLINO - I knew you had a long term plan. Just like ditching me when I start to get jowly.
JIM BELLINO - Uh huh. This is what life's about, right here. Smiling faces, bouncing pubescent breast buds, and a head full of Indian person hair. **they kiss**
At a Malibu winery...
VICKI GUNVALSON - **to winery owners** Hey, are you guys lovers? Do you fuck n' stuff on the daily? Maybe a lick lick here and a flick flick there?
DAD WINERY OWNER - We're father and daughter.
VICKI GUNVALSON - So, no?
TAMRA BARNEY - Vicki!
VICKI GUNVALSON - What? They're all valid questions. I'm just trying to get to know them.
TAMRA BARNEY - Well, stop.
VICKI GUNVALSON - **to daughter winery owner** Hey, how old are you anyway?
DAUGHTER WINERY OWNER - 24.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Wow. You look much older. But that's a good thing! Older people collect social security and get their asses wiped for them!
TAMRA BARNEY - **swipes Vicki's wine** You're cut off.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Jeez. Sorry I'm so honest.
The next day, at a Malibu wine tasting for Wine by Wives....
TAMRA BARNEY - I feel just like Jamie Kennedy. Fill er up!
VICKI GUNVALSON - Hey, I gotta go. I'm meeting Diane and John John in LA for dinner.
TAMRA BARNEY - But this is business.
VICKI GUNVALSON - I've had these plans for six months.
TAMRA BARNEY - I bet if you were here on Vicki's Vodka business, you'd stay.
VICKI GUNVALSON - I told you, I've had these plans for three months!
TAMRA BARNEY - Just leave, bitch. More wine for me. **chugs, drafts a cyst and deceased before throwing the remainder at Jeana Keough**
VICKI GUNVALSON - Uh, you're so season six. **leaves**
EDDIE JUDGE - **enters with Slade, all sweaty** Hey, we're back from our six-hour, uh, "bike ride."
SLADE SMILEY - Hey, where'd Vicki go? Now that all the testosterone has been drained from my body, from, um, "riding a bike", I think I can handle her.
TAMRA BARNEY - She left. We got in a fight.
EDDIE JUDGE - Aw, that's too bad. Say, Slade, want to ride again tomorrow? Maybe for eight hours this time?
SLADE SMILEY - More than anything in this world.
THE END.
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