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| Running low on ideas, the producers resort to a Listening-To-Strings Challenge. |
Workin' it out...
ALTON - **doing one-pinky-push-ups** One... two... three... twenty-seven... fifty-two...
FRANK - **under his breath, to Zach** Winning isn't about personality, it's about strength in numbers.
ALTON - **overhearing** Are you talking shit while I'm on my eighty-eighth one-pinky-push-up, or am I on some bitchin' hallucinogens?
FRANK - I think you're on bitchin' hallucinogens, if you claim to be able to do eighty-eight one-pinky-push-ups. PS - Nobody says "bitchin'" anymore.
ALTON - FUCK YOU! My body is a TEMPLE that can do AMAZING THINGS!
FRANK - Temples can't even DO anything! They're standing structures, STOOPID! **they get all up in each others' faces**
ZACH - **standing by with crossed arms** Frank, I'm starting to think I should get compensated for being your body guard. This is a full-time gig.
FRANK - You do get compensated, in the form of late-night blow jobs in your bunk.
ZACH - Pshaw. That toothy junk ain't worth shit.
FRANK - That's a very hurtful thing to say to an actively gay man.
ZACH - You're right. I'm sorry.
ALTON - Excuse me? I thought we were fighting here?
FRANK - Oh yeah. FUCK YOU!
Alton decides he doesn't want to play at the beach with a bunch of "kids"...
SARAH - But Alton... if you don't go to the beach, nobody gets to go to the beach.
ALTON - Hey, I don't make the rules. I just immaturely break them and fuck over the entire house.
DUSTIN - C'mon, dude. All you have to do is sit in the blazing, melanoma-inducing sun for a few hours, get dehydrated, and pick at your blisters. Do it for us.
FRANK - **appearing in the screen door** I see you comforting Alton, Dusty. And to quote George Bush, "if you're not FOR us, you're AGAINST us."
DUSTIN - Hmmm. I don't recall that quote. When Bush was in office, I was in Australia appearing in male-on-male Internet pornography.
FRANK - HEY! You took away my opportunity to make a Frat Pad joke by making one yourself! **gets in Dustin's face**
ZACH - Fuck. Here we go again.
FRANK - I put my lips around my teeth last night, so shut up.
ZACH - Fair enough.
FRANK - **turns back to Dustin** I will fuck you up right here, right now, just like I'd do in the STREETS!
DUSTIN - You are from Vermont. Do they even have streets?
FRANK - Yes. After a generous grant from the state government, the dirt roads in my hometown were paved in 1997. **silence** Wait... what were we talking about again?
At the daily challenge, the teams slap fish, wear horse heads, and listen to strings...
TJ LAVIN - Team St. Thomas, you came in last at slapping fish, wearing horse heads, and listening to strings.
MARIE - I blame Trey. This explains why he was held back a grade.
TJ LAVIN - New Orleans, since you came in first at slapping fish, wearing horse heads, and listening to strings, who do you select to go against in the Arena?
KNIGHT - As a man who looks like a lesbian, I select the other team that has a man who looks like a lesbian. Alton, your team is going into the Arena.
At the Arena, Dustin and Nany prepare for battle against Trey and Laura...
ALTON - Here's the strategy. Pull the rope into the middle as fast as you can. Even faster than the other team.
NANY - Thanks for the helpful tips.
CJ - Hey, Big Shot Alton, why aren't you the one going into the dome?
ALTON - Hey, Guy Who Sucked As A Kicker In The NFL, I don't feel like it.
FRANK - Guys, guys, let's just calm down!
ZACH - Are you seriously asking people to calm down?
FRANK - No. I was just trying to see how it feels. Feels boring, quite frankly **gets in Alton's face, shouts a lot**
TJ LAVIN - Let's take a break from Frank fighting with people for the Arena, shall we?
**Nany and Dustin win**
TJ LAVIN - Trey and Laura, this ends your time here in Turkey.
TREY - Finally. Now I can go back to my non-pregnant ex-girlfriend.
TJ LAVIN - Good for you, bro. Good for you.
THE END.
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