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| It's hard to say goodbye, but there's a good chance you'll hate each other very soon. |
In front of a live studio audience...
MARIA MENOUNOS - Hi, I'm a weird Greek lady.
MARIE - Hi, yourself.
MARIA MENOUNOS - Damn, you are a bad bitch. Well, today we're here to quiz the cast members of "The Real World: Only White People In Sight" on why they all now mostly hate each other.
TREY - We don't hate each other. We all just hate one person: the 67-year-old Shea Stadium beer vendor masquerading as a woman young enough to be on this show.
LATOYA - Excuse me, her name is Marie, it's called Citi Field now, and we don't all hate her. I happen to think that, sometimes, she's rather tolerable.
MARIE - Thanks, girl.
ROBB - Well, I happen to think that she has poor hygiene and a bad attitude, which is why I broke up with her through a text message.
MARIE - You didn't seem to think I had poor hygiene and a bad attitude back when you were praising my good hygiene and positive attitude!
ROBB - Things change. **holds up cruise bracelet Marie bought him, breaks it in half**
LIVE AUDIENCE - OOOOOHHH!
SWIFT - I'll tell you what I think -
LATOYA - SHUT UP FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! **stands up to attack Swift**
MARIA MENOUNOS - Whoa whoa whoa! Let's go to break.
Laura has her "Where Are They Now" segment...
LAURA - I'm back in Omaha, fishing with my cousin on the regs. Aaaand that's pretty much it.
Robb has his "Where Are They Now" segment...
ROBB - Here I am in rural Pennsylvania, hanging out with my mom on the porch.
Back to the live studio audience...
MARIA MENOUNOS - I guess the only thing left to talk about is how Laura has no self-respect.
LAURA - I have enough self respect to go after a dude I want, even if he already has a girlfriend.
TREY - No argument from me.
SWIFT - Well, I think -
LATOYA - SHUT UP FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! **stands up to attack Swift**
MARIA MENOUNOS - Break time already? Wow.
Brandon has his "Where Are They Now" segment...
BRANDON - Just living the good life here in Boston, sleeping on friends' couches and doing drugs.
Swift has his "Where Are They Now" segment...
SWIFT - I said on the last episode of the season that I was staying in St. Thomas, but instead I'm playing football with friends from elementary school back in Jersey.
Back to the live studio audience...
MARIA MENOUNOS - That's all the time we have for today. It's been fun catching up with you all and seeing how even your positive relationships have disintegrated into putrid piles of resentment.
ROBB - Speaking of putrid piles, somebody might want to check Marie's chair after she gets up.
MARIE - Why don't you take your beanie and non-prescription glasses and push them gently up your anal cav -
MARIA MENOUNOS - Ahem. Well, kids, I'm excited to see the bright futures that you all have ahead of you. Thank you for talking with us.
Trey has his "Where Are They Now" segment...
TREY - I am not good enough to play real sports, so now I throw footballs at people as I pass them on the street.
Marie has his "Where Are They Now" segment...
MARIE - I'm back to being a 67-year-old Shea Stadium beer vendor, except now I'm also friends with Frank from The Real World: San Diego.
THE END.
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