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| Napoleon loves drugs. |
Catching up with Marysol and Mama Elsa...
MARYSOL PATTON - Whelp, Philippe and I are getting a divorce.
MAMA ELSA - I am shocked that things between you and the much-younger Frenchman with no green card who insisted on marrying a US citizen right before his visa expired didn't work out.
MARYSOL PATTON - Me too. Guess that's just how the ropa vieja wrinkles. Hey, where's Napoleon?
MAMA ELSA - Resting in the closet. Sing to me, please.
MARYSOL PATTON - I thought that's why we hired a maid.
MAMA ELSA - She's watching her telenovela.
MARYSOL PATTON - Fine. Ahem. **sings** Besame.... Besame muuuuucho...
MAMA ELSA - Eh, nevermind. I'll wait until the telenovela ends.
Catching up with Adriana De Moura...
FREDERICK - I have a surprise for you.
ADRIANA DE MOURA - You've finally set a date for our wedding?
FREDERICK - Haha, yeah right. **unlocks door to boat house** Tada!
ADRIANA DE MOURA - Frederick, you know I hate cheesy seafood restaurants. All those nasty fake barnacles...
FREDERICK - No, this is our new house boat.
ADRIANA DE MOURA - But it's gross and old.
FREDERICK - That never stopped you from dating me....
ADRIANA DE MOURA - True.
Meeting Joanna Krupa...
MARTA KRUPA, JOANNA'S SISTER - You know all that standing and posing you just did?
JOANNA KRUPA - Yep. I'm exhausted.
MARTA KRUPA - Well, I've got news for you. You're not even going to be on the cover of Ocean Drive. You're going to be on the INSIDE pages!
JOANNA KRUPA - The INSIDE pages?!?! That's fucking disgusting!
MARTA KRUPA - I know!
JOANNA KRUPA - That was a solid ten minutes worth of standing and posing! Somebody's going to lose their job over this!
MARTA KRUPA - But not me though, right?
JOANNA KRUPA - You don't have a job.
MARTA KRUPA - Oh yeah.
Meeting Lisa Hochstein...
DR. LENNY HOCKSTEIN - Great news - we got the house on Star Island!!!!
LISA HOCHSTEIN - Is it next to Gloria?
DR. LENNY HOCKSTEIN - Well, only two families can really live next to Gloria...
LISA HOCHSTEIN - Is it next to Gloria?
DR. LENNY HOCKSTEIN - We'll be two doors down from Ricky Martin's cousin!
LISA HOCHSTEIN - Is it next to Gloria?
DR. LENNY HOCKSTEIN - No. I'm afraid it's not. But Lea Black will be living nearby, so there's that.
LISA HOCHSTEIN - If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom pouring acid in your retinol tubes. **walks away**
DR. LENNY HOCKSTEIN - DO NOT TOUCH MY RETINOL I WILL DIE WITHOUT IT.
Meeting Karent Sierra at the breakfast table...
RODOLFO JIMENEZ, KARENT'S BOYFRIEND - I better hit the road... filming in Mexico starts tomorrow.
KARENT SIERRA - It's so sad to think of you in your hotel room at night, all alone...
RODOLFO JIMENEZ - Don't worry. There will likely be a blonde to keep me company.
KARENT'S PARENTS - **very angry** No es chistoso!
RODOLFO JIMENEZ - You named your daughter "Karent", so fuck off.
The End.
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