Gallery Girls, Episode 3 - "I'm Not Sorry"

You'd think the Asian girl on the show was Claudia, because of The Babysitter's Club, but that is not the case here.

Maggie's boyfriend Ryan takes her to dinner to celebrate her birthday...

MAGGIE SCHAFFER - A girl wants to be treated like a princess on her birthday.**rips chunk of hair out of her head, sets it on the table**

RYAN - I know. That's why I brought you to the Times Square outpost of Planet Hollywood.

MAGGIE SCHAFFER - Where did you say you're from again?

RYAN - Jeffersonville, Indiana.

MAGGIE SCHAFFER - Right, right. Three years together, and that fact always slips my mind. 

RYAN - You gotta try the tuna melt here. Outta this world.




At End of Century...

ANGELA PHAM - My main gay fucked up and couldn't find a gallery to host my show.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ-REARDON - **uncomfortable** Oh. Um, that really sucks.

ANGELA PHAM - Sure does. Luckily, I have friends who own their own gallery and can display the photos I took of them at a drum circle.

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ-REARDON - Uh... who would that be?

ANGELA PHAM - YOU, silly!

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ-REARDON - Oh, geez... I'm really sorry, but we're all booked up that week.

ANGELA PHAM - I didn't even say what week I wanted yet.

ALEX, ANGELA'S MAIN GAY - **staggers into the gallery, beaten n' bloody** Do what she wants, Claudia. She pushed each protruding shape from her shirt into a different orifice. **tries to sit** Ow.

ANGELA PHAM - Get the fuck out of here, loser. **pushes him back into the street** Now where were we? 

CLAUDIA MARTINEZ-REARDON - Discussing next Saturday as a possible date for your show!

ANGELA PHAM - Exxxxxcellent.




At Eli Klein...

AMY POLKIAKOFF - I bought cupcakes for you!

ELI KLEIN - That's weird.

AMY POLKIAKOFF - What's weird about bringing treats to someone I haven't seen since Hurricane Katrina? **tries to kiss his cheek, he leans away**

LIZ MARGULIES - **comes back from the bathroom after doing a line** Oh. It's you.

AMY POLKIAKOFF - Hey, gorgeous! I brought you a cupcake!

LIZ MARGULIES - Gluten makes my bowels explode like Chernobyl.

AMY POLKIAKOFF - Aw, I used a disaster simile earlier, too! That's the 305 talking, I guess.

LIZ MARGULIES - So to what do we owe this honor? All the leftover wine from last night's show is already locked in the basement.  

AMY POLKIAKOFF - WHAT THE FUCK WHY DO YOU HATE ME ALLS I'VE EVER DONE IS BE NICE TO YOU AND HAVE NICE HAIR.

LIZ MARGULIES - I'm focused on recovery, and you are drunk all the time. **sniffles**

AMY POLKIAKOFF - Not true. I'm not drunk right now. Just slightly buzzed.

LIZ MARGULIES - We'll just never be friends. You're not even comfortable in your own skin, which I must admit is pretty understandable. **scratches her nose** 

AMY POLKIAKOFF - Do you have a cold?

LIZ MARGULIES - No.


THE END.