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| Third eye blind. |
Rosie is exasperated while caring for the Giudice and Gorga kids...
ROSIE PIERRI - Oh, christ. Milania, what the hell are you doing?
MILANIA GIUDICE - Quietly talking about shitting with Antonia.
ROSIE PIERRI - Holy nut balls. You kids drive me up a wall!
GINO GORGA - Wheee! Riding on my scooter in the vicinity of an empty street!
ROSIE PIERRI - NOOOOO! Scooter-riding? What's next, bar-hanging over soft carpeting?
GIA GIUDICE - Look at Milania! She's moved from the bathroom to the closet, where she's doing really well-formed pull-ups on a low bar!
ROSIE PIERRI - I can't handle this. Stop the insanity!
AUDRIANA GIUDICE - **eating a cookie** Yummy.
ROSIE PIERRI - A cookie, now? How much more can I take with these crazy kids, huh?**pours herself a huge glass of Joe Giudice's homemade wine** Yeah, that's the ticket.
ANTONIA PIERRI, ROSIE'S MOTHER - So lucky you never found the right guy and had kids, eh? You couldn't handle it!
ROSIE PIERRI - Still in denial about me being a raging lesbo, huh?
ANTONIA PIERRI - A-you-betcha.
At the Manzo dinner table...
CAROLINE MANZO - I know it's hard for you, Lauren. Albie and Chris are so handsome, thin, and successful, and then there's you.
CHRIS MANZO - **some ham falls on his double chin** The secret is to cut out the carbs.
ALBIE MANZO - And the key to success is to get your uncle to bankroll your ventures, and then never pay him back when they fail.
CHRIS MANZO - As for being handsome, that's just something you're born with. **winks, half of his eyebrow falls off**
LAUREN MANZO - I'm trying, guys. But maybe if I had more support, everything would be easier for me.
VITO - I support you, Lauren. **pulls up pornographic images of hot blondes on his phone, jerks off under the dinner table**
CAROLINE MANZO - Ha! Vito, you're quite the cut-up.
LAUREN MANZO - I'm going to go sit in the garage with the car running.
ALBERT MANZO - Don't use the Benz. Use the Range.
LAUREN MANZO - Thanks, dad. Love you all.
**nobody looks up**
At the Solstice party...
MELISSA GORGA - So let me get this straight. You're mad that I was mad that you said I'd leave my husband for a richer man.
TERESA GIUDICE - Right. And because you said the word "jail." Here in Northern Jersey, we only say that when it's a black person.
MELISSA GORGA - Ok, that's totally sensible.
TERESA GIUIDICE - I knew you'd come around.
MELISSA GORGA - I was being sarcastic.
TERESA GIUDICE - What's that mean? Don't use words I don't know.
KIM D, OWNER OF POSCHE AND OVERALL CLASSY LADY - Sarcasm is like when people tell me I should cut back on the drinking and tanning. I know they don't really mean it.
TERESA GIUDICE - I told my brother bad things about you in... what's the word? Consciences?
KIM D - Conciousness.
TERESA GIUDICE - In conciousness.
MELISSA GORGA - Well, it got back to me.
TERESA GIUDICE - I'm not the one running around trying to develop my talents when I got three kids and a husband at home!
MELISSA GORGA - What about the cookbook?
TERESA GIUDICE - Haha, nice try! I said "talents."
KIM D - Zing!
MELISSA GORGA - Don't you have some drinking and tanning to be doing?
KIM D - Yeah. See ya. **leaves**
TERESA GIUDICE - Well, I refuse to have this conversation without my translator present. **starts to leave**
MELISSA GORGA - Run away, coward, like you always do!
TERESA GIUDICE - Aw HELL naw! **gets in Melissa's face, Melissa flicks the bindi off Teresa's forehead** MY EYE!!!!! SHE GOUGED MY EYE!!!!
TIA, REALLY SPIRITUAL LADY - It's not real, Teresa. It's a spiritual third eye.
TERESA GIUDICE - Oh.
To be continued....
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