Snooki and Deena devise a plan to get back into Danny’s good graces, but get foiled by one of their roommates…
SNOOKI- So, like, should we put this cake in the oven or will it magically bake because of the sweat in this house?
DEENA- Should you even be baking with a urinary tract infection?
SNOOKI- Its fine. I mixed antibiotics directly into the cake, along with Valtrex. Danny should probably be regularly dosed with that since he is in direct contact with us daily.
RONNIE- Sammie, I love you like a fat kid love cake.
SAMMIE- Am I allowed to speak in this episode?
PAULY D- Am I allowed to eat a piece of your cake?
MIKE- I don’t like eating cake.
J-WOWW- Yeah, we know. That’s the rumor that Snooki and I are spreading around the internet, anyway.
SNOOKI- Yeah, you have tendencies.
MIKE- I could completely disprove those rumors if the Unit would ever get back from Miami. Who takes a three month vacation to Florida anyway? I’m starting to think he doesn’t like me.
VINNY- No one likes you.
Pauly D and Vinny go on a man date and things get weird….
PAULY D- Were the first 25 minutes of this episode really about cake?
VINNY- We’re really running out of plotlines. Apparently, you can only entertain people with problem drinking and public urination for so long before they stop caring.
PAULY D- Did you hear that the New Jersey state legislature just voted to legalize gay marriage?
VINNY- Huh?
PAULY D- And New York and Rhode Island, our respective home states, already allow gay marriage, so hypothetically if we were to get married in New Jersey, our marriage would be legally recognized in our home states.
VINNY- What are you talking about?
PAULY D- I'm just making conversation.
The gang decides to spend a night at Jenk’s rather than Karma because they were not contractually obligated to be at Karma that night…
DEENA- I’ve decided to like guys for this episode, so I called Joey and we’re going to smush later, but first we’re meeting at Jenk’s.
SNOOKI- The doctor said I shouldn’t drink when I’m on antibiotics for my UTI.
SAMMIE- The doctor said I should drink so I become interesting, or that he should drink before my appointment so I seem interesting. I don’t remember.
RONNIE- I drink heavily so I forget that I share a bed with you on the daily.
MIKE- I encourage drinking so I can remind all of you what a good guy I am and so that eventually I can have the Unit show up and prove to you that I’m straight because I let Snooki blow me once.
VINNY- I drink because you’re all insufferable human beings and I’m better than this.
J-WOWW- I drink because when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
DEENA- Didn’t we see the Vatican when we were in Rome?
J-WOWW- We were in Florence. Its an entirely different city.
PAULY D- I drink to endure the pain of Vinny turning down my marriage proposal. I wish I could quit him.
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