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| "Livin' in a hotel, with mom and dad and stuff. Yeah yeah yeah." - photo - mtv.com |
At the gym...
FRANK - Damn it, Ashley, show yourself to us!
ASHLEY - I've showed myself a lot of times. At the beach, when we took a group shower, at the Maidenform fashion show when I was an alternate...
FRANK - No, I mean the real you. What's going on inside.
ASHLEY - Today I ate Beef Wellington for breakfast. There's actually a whole lot going on inside...
FRANK - NO! Jesus Christ, I'm talking about FEELINGS!
ZACH - Sorry, couldn't help but overhear. **pauses to flex in mirror** Aw yeah. Ahem. Frank, I mean this in the kindest way possible, but have you ever considered that there's not really anything to know about Ashley?
ASHLEY - Yeah, have you?
ZACH - Ashley's a pretty simple gal. She wakes up, shits, eats her Beef Wellington, showers, works out, and shows her underwear to people.
ASHLEY - And I go to Subway.
ZACH - And she goes to Subway.
FRANK - So that's really it?
ZACH - That's it. She's about as deep as Alexandra's music.
FRANK - Well, I I just wish you two would spend more time with the group. If you'd just - hey? Where'd you guys go? **Zach and Ashley speed off in car** Again?!? **starts to walk home**
At the House of Blues...
ALEXANDRA & THE HATS - "Let's start a war! Let's start a war! I live in a hotel! Where mom and dad don't talk anymore!"
PRISCILLA - **crying** It's just so... poignant!
SAM - Hey, if y'all want to see some real entertainment, come see my drag king persona Shawn Jade lip sync at the Front Butt next week.
NATE - Drag King? What's that all about?
SAM - I dress up like a 12-year-old Eminem impersonator with a limp.
NATE - So... It's just you being you.
SAM - Yes. But lip-synching.
NATE - Bangin'.
They go camping and to Cabo in the same day...
PRISCILLA - Wooooo! Hiking!
NATE - Dolphins!
ALEXANDRA - Parasailing!
SAM - Horses!
FRANK - Gays in the military!
PRISCILLA - Way to bring it down, Frank.
FRANK - Sorry, there's something about soft candlelight and Coctel de Camarones that makes me want to start shit.
ZACH - Here we go...
FRANK - First, you and Ashley go around not liking gays in the military. THEN, you hang out on a corner of a boat by yourselves!!!!
NATE - Damn. He went there.
ZACH - You know what? I didn't come on the Real World to make friends!
FRANK - You're only supposed to say that on competition-focused reality shows!
ZACH - My beautiful face needed national exposure. And I just happened to meet another beautiful face! So sue me!
FRANK - It's fine. I don't care anymore. Spend all your lives going on roller coasters with just the two of you.
ASHLEY - Only two people can fit in a roller coaster...
FRANK - Shuddup.
NATE - Frank, let's have fun. Just the five of us. Let them do them.
FRANK - You're right.
**They Crab Circle, while Zashley look at the stars on the beach**
FRANK - Good times!
SAM - See? We don't need seven people to Crab Circle.
FRANK - Yep. **relaxes, enjoys his friends' company**
**then, images of Zashley running to the top of a mountain without the group appear in Frank's head. While they run, they are eating a Subway Meatball Sub together from either end**
FRANK - DOCTOR LEVAK! HEEEEEEEEELP!
The End.
Yeah, Frank is a dick!
ReplyDeletei love Frank
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