Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Episode 3 - "Gossip Girls"
In Suite M at the Sacramento Kings game...
KIM RICHARDS - One time, at a horse show, this chick showed up in Louie Vuitton, and her nipple was out, and I saw it.
ADRIENNE MALOOF - **watching the game** Uh huh.
ANGRY KINGS FAN I - I hope Mayor Kevin Johnson murders you and buries the body in a remote part of the Central Valley!!!!
KIM RICHARDS - Hey, you got a better story, asshole? Anyway, one time, I was dropping acid in Jodie Foster's basement, and I thought the ghost of my grandma was there, but it was just Lucille Ball.
ADRIENNE MALOOF - **watching the game** - Mmmmk.
ANGRY KINGS FAN II - I hope Arnold Schwarzenegger's mistress Mildred Baena exposes a dirty story about you!!!
KIM RICHARDS - Ouch. Tough crowd. Well, how 'bout this? You know "Pete's Dragon?" One time, I met the dragon at Woolworth's. Total douchebag.
ADRIENNE MALOOF - **watching the game** - Yuh huh.
ANGRY KINGS FAN III - Ready for another mean Sacramento-themed comment, Maloof? I'll let you know when I think of one!
KIM RICHARDS - What? My name is Kim Richards! And I'm from Beverly Hills! Stop being mean to me!
PAUL NASSIF - Kim, they're not yelling at you. They're yelling at my wife.
KIM RICHARDS - **Gasps** Why?!?! She's so nice!
ADRIENNE MALOOF - Remember when I told you seven times that we might be moving the team to Anaheim?
KIM RICHARDS - No! Why would you do that?!
ADRIENNE MALOOF - Here's a Xanax.
KIM RICHARDS - Aw, thank you. One time, on the Disney lot, I - **falls asleep**
PAUL NASSIF - Nice work.
ADRIENNE MALOOF - Thanks.
At Kyle Richard's charity event....
KYLE RICHARDS - **spots Brandi Glanville** Who is THAT?!
PAUL NASSIF - It's a prettier and younger woman. Do I detect hostility and jealousy?
KYLE RICHARDS - No. I just see someone on crutches wearing a stiletto. Looks uncomfortable.
PAUL NASSIF - I think it's hostility and jealousy.
KYLE RICHARDS - Well... it's not?
PAUL NASSIF - Sure. I know hostility and jealousy when I see them.
LISA VANDERPUMP - And I just see someone who's befriended Cedric. You know, my former best friend who betrayed me?
PAUL NASSIF - Hostility. Jealousy.
KYLE RICHARDS - Paul, take a hike.
PAUL NASSIF - What? What'd I do?
LISA VANDERPUMP - You keep accusing us of being hostile and jealous of this Brandi woman.
PAUL NASSIF - No, I don't. I just thought I saw Hostility and Jealousy Johnson at the h'orderves table. They're twins I knew back in high school.
KYLE RICHARDS - Oh! I feel so silly!
LISA VANDERPUMP - Me too! I should have figured that those words could pass for names in this town. Ever meet Resentment Roberts?
KYLE RICHARDS - Nice girl.
LISA VANDERPUMP - Sorry, Paul.
PAUL NASSIF - Just kidding. Y'all are hostile and jealous as shit. PEACE! **leaves**
KYLE RICHARDS - Damn that Paul Nassif! He got us again.
LISA VANDERPUMP - He got us gooood.
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