KIM KARDASHIAN - Khloe - there's red shit all over my ankle!
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - Are you more concerned that your shit is red, or that it's on your ankle? 'Cause both are kind of worrisome.
KIM KARDASHIAN - No, it's, like, a rash.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - Maybe it's rug burn?
KIM KARDASHIAN - What would I be doing on a rug? This isn't the Seventies.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - No, I meant - in a sexual way.
KIM KARDASHIAN - I know. Doing sex stuff on a rug is about as hip as the Bee Gees. Besides, I only have hardwood floors.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - You have a rug in your upstairs bathroom.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Yeah, but it's plush.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - But what about in those rare cases you get amorous somewhere with institution-style carpeting -
KIM KARDASHIAN - Ok, enough. It's not rug burn.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - So what is it?
KIM KARDASHIAN - Not sure, but I'm frightened. I guess I'll do what I always do when I have a problem, big or small.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - Call Mommy?
KIM KARDASHIAN - No, go see Mommy directly so the problem gets taken care of faster.
At the Jenner table...
KRIS JENNER - Dear heavenly father, please let tomorrow's commercial shoot go off without a hitch, and bless the babies in Haiti.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - That earthquake was over a year ago. You really need to update your prayer.
KRIS JENNER - Fine. Bless the Tsunami victims in Thailand.
KYLIE JENNER - That was two tsunamis ago.
KRIS JENNER - Whatever! Get off my case! Kendall's on birth control pills!
BRUCE JENNER - Cool.
KYLIE JENNER - Sweet.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - Use a condom, too.
KIM KARDASHIAN - **bursts in the door** Moooooommmmmy! I have a raaaaaaash!
KRIS JENNER - Rug burn?
KIM KARDASHIAN - No! I only have hardwood floors, and it's not the Seventies!
KRIS JENNER - What about the rug in your upstairs bathroom?
KIM KARDASHIAN - It's plush!
KRIS JENNER - Ok, must be psoriasis.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Omg, I have a shoot tomorrow where I have to run around in a sports bra!
KRIS JENNER - Good news. Your photo shoot tomorrow is for psoriasis awareness.
KIM KARDASHIAN - But how did they know I have it?
KRIS JENNER - They didn't. The casting call was for someone with a big fat ass to run around in a sports bra - they figured that would bring more awareness to psoriasis than actual psoriasis ever could.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Advertising wizards, they are.
KRIS JENNER - So suit up, and knock 'em dead.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Thanks, mommy! **runs off**
KENDALL JENNER - I'm done eating. Gotta go - a boy from school wants to meet me for sex.
KRIS JENNER - Bring a sweater. Phew, ten percent from psoriasis commercial, here I come!
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