Keeping Up with The Kardashians Episode 4 - "Thicker Than Water"

ROB KARDASHIAN - I never come around anymore because I don't like Scott.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Excuse me?

BRUCE JENNER - He said he finds it hard to come because he's always picturing Marge Schott.

ROB KARDASHIAN - Kourt, I didn't invite you to Vegas for my birthday because last time Scott shoved a hundred dollar bill down the waiter's throat.

BRUCE JENNER  - Aw, c'mon Rob. Kourtney's tot would never put a pill in a coat. That's absurd. 

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - For one thing, I'm sure that's not the first time that waiter's had something shoved down his throat.

BRUCE JENNER - Again, with the coat. We live in Southern California, for chrissakes.

ROB KARDASHIAN - He's an alcoholic, and a bad influence. I just can't do it.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN  - Do what?

BRUCE JENNER  - He said he never wants to see your ass face and its progeny poking around his backyard in the summertime.

ROB KARDASHIAN - Ok, that didn't even remotely rhyme with what I said.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Dude needs a burning candle stuck in his auditory orifice, ASAP.    

KRIS JENNER - **enters** Bruce! What are you doing? You were supposed to pick up Kendall and Khloe from the child pornographer's office over an hour ago!

BRUCE JENNER - I know my hearing not too good, but it sounded like you said child pornographer's office.

KRIS JENNER - I did! What the fuck are you doing?

BRUCE JENNER  - Talking to my step-children, of course.

ROB KARDASHIAN  - He's actually just standing here spouting off complete nonsense while we try to have a serious conversation.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - We've been tuning him out, as usual.

KRIS JENNER - Guys, with old people, you have to pay attention to make sure nothing's wrong.

ROB KARDASHIAN  -  I thought we all determined he was crazy and useless years ago.

KRIS JENNER  - True. True. Bruce, go!  They're waiting on the street!

BRUCE JENNER = I don't see what could happen to them on the street that could possibly be worse then being at the child pornographer's office.

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - There nutso Bruce goes again, with his moments of clarity and wisdom.

ROB KARDASHIAN  - Ow. My stomach hurts.

TO BE CONTINUED....