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| Vicki toasts to the good life a mere hour before her suicide. photo - Bravotv.com |
At the St. Regis "photo shoot"...
TAL SHEYN - Why don't we photograph you in this dress? The one whose sleeves you unceremoniously cut off while I cried in the fetal position?
ALEXIS BELLINO - "Whose" sleeves? Please stop ascribing human traits to inanimate objects. It's pathetic.
JIM BELLINO - **talking to the dress** Is little dressy wessy ready for his big pictorial debut? You gonna be a big boy for the camera man?
**Tal lights dress on fire while Alexis "poses"**
JIM BELLINO - Stick that tushie out real far, Lexi. Show everyone how sexy a tangerine-colored mu mu can look.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Oh god. I'm on fire.
JIM BELLINO - **adjusts old lady glasses** Uh huh. Now pucker that trout pout. Perfect.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Jim, I'm burning to death.
JIM BELLINO - Now put your left arm over your body, completely obscuring the dress we're trying to sell.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Seriously! I'm getting real hot.
JIM BELLINO - That makes two of us. Now lean over the the valet guy and put your keys in his mouth.
ALEXIS BELLINO - Iiiii'm meeeeellting....
JIM BELLINO - Oh yeah, baby. Dangle 'em right over his kisser. **Alexis dies**
TAL SHEYN - Whoa. It worked.
JIM BELLINO - Tal, did you set my wife on fire?
TAL SHEYN - Yes. She destroyed my Dallas-inspired creation.
JIM BELLINO - For shame. Oh well. At least we got the shot.
TAL SHEYN - That's true.
JIM BELLINO - Hey, wanna grab some margaritas over at Javiers?
TAL SHEYN - Sure, sounds good. **they step over Alexis' charred remains**
At a Temecula winery...
VICKI GUNVALSON - **weeping** I'm perfect! Life's good!
PEGGY TANOUS - But your false eyelash is on a tear-slide down your left cheek.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Allergies. I love work!
TAMRA BARNEY - Uh oh. Vicki's heading over to the dark side.
VICKI GUNVALSON - **to wine-pourer guy** Did you hear what she said? Dark. That means she's talking about you, Mexican Man.
WINE-POURER GUY - I'm Puerto Rican.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Is that near Ixtapa?
WINE-POURER GUY - No. It's part of America. The very country you live in.
VICKI GUNVALSON- Eh, what do you know, dark-colored wine server person.
WINE-POURER GUY - Can you stop pointing out my race when I'm at work?
VICKI GUNVALSON - Security! Please remove this brown person. He's questioning a paying white customer.
SECURITY GUARD - Looks like you're the one causing the problem.
VICKI GUNVALSON - Shit. Another brown person. I hate Temecula.
At Peggy's "boudoir" photo shoot for Micah...
PEGGY TANOUS -So at what point during this boudoir photo shoot do I get to runway walk?
PHOTOGRAPHER - You don't. It's a photo shoot.
PEGGY TANOUS - But my left arm is getting restless. **tries to pump her arm**
PHOTOGRAPHER - Stop. Just sit still like a normal person.
PEGGY TANOUS - What? This is how we walked for Target's Merona spring line 2001.
PHOTOGRAPHER - Yeah, well, this is the big time. We're in a Sears photo department.
PEGGY TANOUS - But famed Orange County photographer Styles O'Jiggles told us to pump our left arms on the set of "See OC Double C's Part II."
PHOTOGRAPHER - There's no such thing as Double C's.
PEGGY TANOUS - You need to get out more. **pumps her arm**
PHOTOGRAPHER - Seriously, keep your arm down before I chop it off with my dick.
PEGGY TANOUS - EXCUSE ME? I'm paying you to take photos of me. I don't think Sears' Yelp category could use any more negative reviews.
PHOTOGRAPHER - Let me ask you this - Who else in a three-county radius will shoot Jerry Hall's older sister in her underwear?
PEGGY TANOUS - Good point. **to her arm** You sit still, now.
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