Reality Redone: May 2011

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

bravotv.com

Be still, my beating wine-soaked heart. bravotv.com

Mmmm... tastes like vodka and juvie. photo MTV.com

Dating = breaking each other's glasses and saying "I'm done" alot.
Are Sammi and Ronnie Dating Again?

Arnold's maid to get a cameo.
Rachel Uchitel gets her own reality show

John Travolta destroys everything in his wake.
Sonja Morgan: On the Hook for $7 Million!

Shockingly, she's not referring to the size of her lips.
Real Housewife Taylor Armstrong: "I Went Too Far"

photo - bravotv.com

God hates divorce, but loves bangs. photo - bravotv.com

Verbal contract? Jon's been giving verbal contracts all over town. Or whatever.
Kate Gosselin ordered to pay marriage counselor $10,000

Love slutty dresses, having lesbian sexual experiences for the male gaze, and mint juleps?
Want to be a reality TV star? Casting call Saturday in Louisville

Looks like the renovation of her green eighties bathroom will have to wait.
Danielle Staub Sued for $375,000 After Nabbing $25,000 For Striptease

This headline not-so-subtly calls Bethenny ugly.
Brains Beat Beauty: Bethenny Frankel Outranks J. Lo on Forbes List

Another day, another drunken argument at an anti-bullying fashion show. photo - bravotv.com

Renee Graziano has a fan? And it's 50 Cent? What's next, flying pigs or another idiom of improbability?
50 Cent Wants Floyd Mayweather to Teach Mob Wife

Work it, girl. Get back in that H-list limelight.
Danielle Staub: I have addictions and need professional help

Depends on who has cooler nannies...
Kelsey Grammer Battles Ex-Wife Camille for Sole Custody?

"You're my sister-in-law! You're my sister-in-law!"
Teresa Giudice Had 'No Idea' Her Sister-in-Law Was Joining 'Housewives' Cast

Any relation to Dan Cortese? No? Jump away, then.
'Jersey Shore' cast member Deena Cortese nearly falls off a bridge

This week, a Christian's faith is tested. photo - mtv.com

See what you're missing, Jews? photo-bravotv.com

Whhhhaaaa! I'm Jill Zaaaaaaaaarin! photo - bravotv.com

What about her "Poor Choice in Selecting a Life Mate" disorder?
'Housewife' Alexis Bellino Reveals Eating Disorder

Pay $25 to look at someone who's married to someone who's in jail for bank robbery from afar.
Dan Gross: 'Mob Wife' to host S. Philly party

I think that ship has sailed, what with the Leno chin implant.
Kim Kardashian Gives Bristol Palin Reality TV Advice: ‘Be Authentic!’

Frank Sorrentino and Audrina's mom can have drunken reality parent sex.
The Situation’s dad wants a reality show. Of course!

This week, a white girl has problems. photo - mtv.com

Heidi gets in line for Dancing with the Stars, right after Dennis Cavallari and the guy who cleans up broken glass at the Bad Girls Club house.
Heidi Montag Enjoying 'Retirement,' Would Come Back for 'DWTS'

That children's song about being fat was his undoing.
'The Biggest Loser: Couples' cuts Austin Andrews, determines final four

If Russell doesn't appreciate those DSLs, somebody out there will.
Taylor Armstrong Splits from Husband

Jo De Lo Rosa dodged a broke-ass bullet.
Real Housewives Of Orange County's Slade Smiley Still Jobless And $130k In Debt

Who needs a house when you have giant fake breastsises? There's room for three beds and an end table.
Real Housewife Peggy Tanous Fights to Keep her Home

Hoping Jake Pavelka will make a similar pledge.
Kate Gosselin would "never" return to 'DWTS'

This whole "pretend you preside over a respectable country" thing is starting to work.
'Jersey Shore' Production Delayed by Italian President

Congratulations, person who almost killed someone once.
Nick Hogan's Getting Engaged

Same shit, different toilet.
Oxygen Media Reveals New Cast of "Bad Girls Club: New Orleans"

Vicki toasts to the good life a mere hour before her suicide. photo - Bravotv.com

Yes. Let us eat KFC, you asshole.
Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution: Pulled; Should ABC Have Cancelled the Series?

Amber learns her lesson - next time, punch Gary in the head after the cameramen go home for the day.
Teen Mom's Amber Portwood in Tears After Ordered to Stand Trial for Baby Daddy Beatdown

He's forgotten all aboot what happened to Jillian Harris, eh?
Lone Canadian to star in The Bachelorette

The best news in Rhode Island since a mediocre DJ left for a summer at The Shore...
R.I. News Digest: Richard Hatch denied bail, held in N.Y


Sonja, who is drunk all of the time, schools Cindy on etiquette. photo mtv.com

You can almost see the baby wishing death upon itself from within the womb.
'Real Housewife" Kim Zolciak posts pregnancy photo

Oh, you think you're better than Heidi Montag? Trista Rehn will cut you.
Kristin Cavallari's Wedding Won't Be Televised? But She's a Reality TV Star!

It rhymes with "Pale Fattention"
Real World's Heather: Why I Hooked Up With My Female Roommate

Jordan Catalano dishes about Good Ol' Muffin Top.
30 Seconds To Mars 'Very Grateful' James Durbin Covered Them On 'Idol'

Naomi has a painful "vaGINal" infection. Photo - mtv.com

The work atmosphere at Sears Hardware or wherever else they wear those red shirts and khaki pants is about to get awkward...
Did 'Teen Mom' Kailyn and Boyfriend Jordan Break Up?

Adriana calls them "matronly", which I'm guessing means they refuse to take private pole dancing lessons on camera.
Housewives vs. Housewives: Miami Star Disses New York Cast

Somebody call PETA. A horse died today, because John Rich will not allow NeNe Leakes to ride a cowboy.
John Rich Questions Intentions of 'Apprentice' Ladies

So they fly to Las Vegas? The Las Vegas? That's uncharted reality show territory!
ABC reveals additional details about Ashley Hebert's The Bachelorette