 |
| Kim's ass turns 30. |
SCOTT DISICK - I don't know if it's a good idea for me to be in Vegas...
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Why? We're just going to have dinner, take in some George Wallace, do keg stands, watch strippers do Ass-to-Ass, set fire to our room, and kill a toddler.
SCOTT DISICK - I can probably handle that.
KRIS JENNER - Promise you won't stuff a hundred dollar bill down a waiter's throat?
SCOTT DISICK - Promise. I don't carry hundreds anymore.
KRIS JENNER - Wow. You've really changed.
SCOTT DISICK - Thank you.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - So should we wake Kim up? It's her birthday and stuff.
KHLOE KARDASHIAN - I'd rather we not. She kind of sucks.
KRIS JENNER - Agreed.
ROB KARDASHIAN - Agreed.
KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN - Agreed. Let's send the concierge up to her room to scare her when she wakes up!
**they all go to Tao to party with Perez Hilton without Kim. Kim wakes up in her room by herself**
KIM KARDASHIAN - Where'd everybody go?
LASHAWN - Out.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Who are you?
LASHAWN - The dude your friends called to get them a keg.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Oh. Have you been sitting here watching me sleep?
LASHAWN - Yes.
KIM KARDASHIAN - Are you going to sexually assault me?
LASHAWN - What is this, Harold and Maude? You're, like, ancient.
KIM KARDASHIAN - You're right. Oh god. **collapses into a crying fit**
LASHAWN - I'm just here to see if you'll sign this sweatshirt for my MeeMaw. She's a big fan.
KIM KARDASHIAN - GET OUT!
LASHAWN - Sorry, ma'am. **he leaves**
KIM KARDASHIAN - Ma'am? It's over. It's all over. **jumps off the Palazzo balcony**
25 YEAR-OLD MAN FROM PASSAIC, NEW JERSEY WHO'S LOUNGING ON A POOL CHAIR - **absorbing the impact of Kim's dead body** Damn. I always wanted to be under Kim Kardashian, but not like this.
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