Sky Nellor once made a Vegemite sandwich while spinning house music for a room full of Japanese investors. |
SKY NELLOR - Sky Nellor on the ones and twos. A-wiki-wiki-wiki-wiki! **pantomimes scratching records**
KEVIN - Lemme guess... you're a DJ.
SKY NELLOR - Yes! That's amazing! **blows air horn**
KEVIN - And Stacy... you must be a model. And an actress. And a host. And a lifestyle coach.
STACY KESSLER - Wow! How did you know? My good looks and vivacious charm?
KEVIN - You told me. Three times.
STACY KESSLER - Oh. Does anyone else see that bird sitting on the table? Looks just like E.T.
KEVIN - Nope. Just you.
SKY NELLOR - More shrimp on the barbie, mate?
KEVIN - Um, sure. More shrimp would be great.
STACY KESSLER - I'll have some, too. We model-slash-actresses-slash-hosts-slash-lifestyle coaches just love our grilled shellfish.
KEVIN - Well, I'm so glad to be eating barbecued shrimp with you two semi-attractive cougs.
SKY NELLOR - Indeed. So, Stacy.... what do you have to offer Kevin? I, for one, have given gobbies to Jamie Foxx, Will.i.Am, and Jerry Van Dyke.
STACY KESSLER - Well, I had a bit role as a dominatrix in the 2010 Brazilian film "Midnight Girl."
SKY NELLOR - Well, I know how to make a Vegemite sandwich while spinning house music for a room full of Japanese investors!
STACY KESSLER - Well, I was issued a US passport without ever disclosing my age!
SKY NELLOR - Well, I once played in a tennis tournament with Paul Hogan and Greg Norman, and kicked both their asses!
STACY KESSLER - Well, I pushed four kids out of my vagina, and then wrote a memoir about it that got turned down by a small publishing house in Ontario!
SKY NELLOR - Ok. You got me beat with that one.
KEVIN - Will you ladies excuse me for a second? Nature calls.**walks over to Patti, who's hiding in the bushes with binoculors**
PATTI STANGER - Whoa, these things make camel toes really come alive.
KEVIN - Patti, can I talk to you in private?
PATTI STANGER - Sure. Let's go stand in front of these five cameramen.
KEVIN - This whole triple-date thing isn't really working out.
PATTI STANGER - Most men would kill to be on a date with an Adrien Brody-fucker and a 46-year-old divorced mother of four.
KEVIN - I know, I should be grateful. But it's really awkward. They keep trying to one-up each other.
PATTI STANGER - Here, have a sniff of this popper.
KEVIN - The drug gay men inhale in clubs?
PATTI STANGER - And you know about this how?
KEVIN - Wikipedia.
PATTI STANGER - Sure. Anyway, have a sniff and go back to the table.
KEVIN - K. **sniffs** WOOOOOHOOOO! I am ready to FUCK!
PATTI STANGER - Alkyl nitrates has worked miracles for three generations of Stanger matchmakers.
KEVIN - **goes back to the table** What do you guys say we to the Westin Diplomat Hollywood Beach, have a threesome on the tennis court, then fly to Barbados, have a threesome in a submarine, and then fly back to New York, and have a foursome with Patti on her desk?
SKY NELLOR - In.
STACY KESSLER - In.
KEVIN - Patti, how can I ever thank you?
PATTI STANGER - Give me the first round of the foursome. I don't do well with sloppy seconds. Or thirds, but the alliteration doesn't sound as cool.
KEVIN - Deal.
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