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| Sheree Whitfield allows her grown daughter to come out of hiding after keeping her in an underground bunker in Valdosta for 23 years. |
In the yard of Sheree's daughter's new house...
TIERRA - You finally decided to let me be on the show!
SHEREE WHITFIELD - I've kept you a secret long enough.
TIERRA - You shouldn't be embarrassed that you were a teen mom.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - That's not it... I kept you a secret because your name is Spanish for "dirt".
TIERRA - I always thought it meant "crown."
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Me too. And that's really the worst thing about being a teen mom - picking stupid-ass names for your kids.
TIERRA - Tripp Palin would agree.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Good one.
TIERRA - Hey, who's that tall lady hiding in the bushes? Sounds like she's struggling to breathe.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Oh, that's just Dwight. He's been following me around town all week, thinking I wouldn't notice.
DWIGHT - **brushes dirt off of his suit** You knew I was here?
SHEREE WHITFIELD - You're not the most inconspicuous dude in Atlanta.
DWIGHT - I'm following you because you owe me money.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - I don't owe you shit.
DWIGHT - I beg to differ. I lost a finger on the set of the She by Sheree fashion show. A hungry model bit it off when I scolded her for walking too fast.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Hazard of the job. Everyone knows severed fingers are a dime of dozen at fashion shows. That's why they call them "Poultry Processing Plants, But With Hot Chicks."
DWIGHT - No, they don't.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Well, they should.
DWIGHT - The doctors, thank god, were able to sew part of my finger back on, but I'm never going to regain the prostate massaging abilities I once had.
TIERRA - What's a prostrate massage?
SHEREE WHITFIELD - You don't want to know.
DWIGHT - Homophobe! You owe me for lost wages, Sheree. This finger got me into the finest nightclubs in Midtown.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - Use your left one.
DWIGHT - It's not the same, and you know it. I'm a righty!
TIERRA - I'm a righty, but sometimes my left hand is better for acts of a sexual nature. Try it out.
DWIGHT - Who the hell is this, Sheree? Is she in any way related to Pookie Nem?
SHEREE WHITFIELD - That's my daughter, Tierra.
DWIGHT - Have you been keeping her a secret? Because her name's Spanish for "dirt"? Pobrecita.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - No... I'm embarrassed because I was a teen mom.
TIERRA - You lied!
SHEREE WHITFIELD - I know. Sorry.
DWIGHT - Um, hello? I'm still here. And I'm still fingerless, and I'm still dealing with the loss of my sexual marketability.
SHEREE WHITFIELD - What do you say I buy you a nostril expander and we call it a day?
DWIGHT - That'll work.
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