Bruce Jenner escapes Kris Jenner's clutches to explore sensuality and pleasure. |
ROB KARDASHIAN - Bruce, your woman's out of town, the night is young, the moon is full...
BRUCE JENNER - Gee, I don't know, Rob. I'm not really the clubbing type.
ROB KARDASHIAN - C'mon. I'll buy you two strawberry daiquiris.
BRUCE JENNER - Let's fuckin' party.
At "the club"....
ROB KARDASHIAN - So, Bruce, I know a lot's changed since the Sixties, but stick with me, "Young Slay", and you'll be ok.
**no answer from Bruce**
ROB KARDASHIAN - Bruce? Where'd you go? **Turns around to see Bruce triple-kissing two fly bitches** Damn it, Bruce! Stop that! You're married to my mom!
BRUCE JENNER - That bitch. She's what's made me such an inhibited stick in the mud. "Bruce, don't wear a bib unless you're at a seafood restaurant. Bruce, stop touching yourself in public."
ROB KARDASHIAN - Ok, well, stop wandering off.
BRUCE JENNER - **puts the straws to two daiquiris in his mouth, drinks them both in one long sip.** Oh yeah, baby. Reminds me of Acapulco in '79. I poured frozen margaritas over the bare breasts of two senoritas bonitas -
ROB KARDASHIAN - Ew! Bruce, just sit quietly on this bench.
BRUCE JENNER - Fine. **starts flashing gang signs at three known Crips.**
ROB KARDASHIAN - Ahhhh! Don't do that! How do you even know those?
BRUCE JENNER - None of your beeswax, Young Slay.
CRIP - **walks over to Bruce** Hey, it's Mr. Olympic!
OTHER CRIP - Whaddup, Mr. Olympic?
ROB KARDASHIAN - Clever nickname.
BRUCE JENNER - Hey, muthafuckers. Just partying my sweet ass off. Young Slay, get these two gentlemen some daiquiris.
ROB KARDASHIAN - I'm out of cash.
BRUCE JENNER - Just tell the bartenders they can sleep with one of your sisters. That's what I do when I'm low on green.
ROB KARDASHIAN - Ok. Just sit right here, Bruce. Don't move a muscle.
BRUCE JENNER - Later, alligator.
**When rob comes back with the daiquiris, Bruce is gone.**
ROB KARDASHIAN -Why? Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy????
**Rob wanders the city until noon the next day. He finds Bruce at a barbecue in Watts, eating ribs and C-walking with his Crip friends.
ROB KARDASHIAN - Bruce! I've been searching for you all night!
BRUCE JENNER - Don't you know the old saying? If someone's missing, the first place you look is a barbecue in Watts.
ROB KARDASHIAN - No. I never heard that.
BRUCE JENNER - Well, its fuckin' true. Come have some ribs.
ROB KARDASHIAN - No. I'm going home. I can't keep up with you, man.
BRUCE JENNER - Uh, Rob?
ROB KARDASHIAN - Yeah?
BRUCE JENNER - Don't tell your mother. I'll party with gangsters and have unprotected sex with known virus carriers, but Kris Jenner is where the real danger lies.
ROB KARDASHIAN - Promise you'll never act like this again. Go back to being yourself.
BRUCE JENNER - Listen, Rob. This is "myself". Screw all you Kardashians. I'm starting anew. **slaps the ass of a fine honey manning the grill.**
ROB KARDASHIAN - Goodbye, Bruce. Forever.
heeeeeeheeeeee
ReplyDeleteUmm this is very corny!!
ReplyDelete