An image of Albie Manzo recently surfaced, making why he failed out of law school less of a mystery.
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: You were smart to come to me, Albie. Not only am I the third-best disability lawyer in Bergen County, but I've also managed to keep your parents out of prison after they've broken the femurs of all your K through 12 teachers.
ALBIE MANZO: People go to prison for that? It'll heal. Big deal.
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: I know, right? Pussies.
ALBIE: Tell me a bit about your credentials. You know, which professional schools you've forced to educate disabled people, and your bra size.
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: Well, when a kid with Down's couldn't get into Hofstra law, we fought those discriminatory a-holes. I'm proud to report that he's now a partner at Mayer Brown, handling mergers and acquisitions. 38D.
ALBIE: Wow. On both counts.
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: And one of my clients with Cerebral Palsy went to New Jersey Medical School after a long fight, and became the head of breast augmentation at the Wayne Surgical Center.
ALBIE: Isn't that where Danielle Staub got her work done?
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: You betcha. He's now the best in the biz.
ALBIE: So what can you do for me? And how many sexual partners have you had?
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: I can make it so your dumbness disability never becomes an issue in the legal profession again. Seven.
ALBIE: Look out, Rutgers-Newark. I'll be transferring to a law school near you with a 0.004 GPA in no time.
ALBIE'S ATTORNEY: That's the attitude! See you in the utility closet in twenty minutes.
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