The Hills - One Last Chance

This episode, like Justin-Bobby's afternoon at Venice Beach, was zenful.

I'm not entirely certain what zenful means, but my Chi-town ass spent fifteen minutes there last February, and it was more scared-for-my-life-ful than zenful. You could tell that J-Bobs and Audrina, snug in their leather jackets, felt like they belonged there, but it's what I'd imagine a Will Smith visit to Cabrini Green to be like.

But just when we think the man with two names is going to get an office job and a house in Irvine for Audrina and their three children, the preview for next week's episode reveals that he may have hooked up with Lauren. I doubt Lauren would do that, because, you know, she's a really good friend. However, I do not doubt that he's slept with many other women who are not his girlfriend.

Is it wrong to hope that the next episode concludes with a montage of Justin-Bobby/Random Girl sex scenes, set to a Leona Lewis song? And that those two weird people make Audrina watch it live on the after show? MTV, if you need a writer for one of your scripted reality shows, I'm available.

The Iranian Jewish guy accepted Heidi's sincere apology for drinking on the job and having a douche-b boyfriend. And I'm being sincere when I say her apology was sincere; all the botox in the world couldn't conceal her terrified expression at the thought of having to spend another day home with Spencer. So she'll be back at her fake office at Bolthouse, fake working and fake confiding in that brown haired girl that's not Elodie.

Any guesses as to where Holly Montag slept between stints at Heidi's condo and Lauren's house? Laurence Fishburne's couch, anyone?
-Liz