Real Housewives of Atlanta- Now We Just Be Lyin'

WTF? I haven't heard such outrageous and untrue claims since my last Palin rally! How is Kim (aka Big Poppa's Mama) 29 years old? Is that human or dog years?

To quote Craig Robinson in "Knocked Up": "I would tear that ass up....... but you old as fuck. Not for the Earth, but for this club".

I don't know what is more of an offense to the ears, though. Kim's claim that she is 29 or the mere idea of a second burgeoning music career from one of the "Real Housewives". We've seen fewer aspiring singers on "American Idol". Still, you have to give Kim props for not towing the party line and refusing to be friends with Sherree, just because NeNe has had several misunderstandings with her. Judging by NeNe's general disposition, I'm guessing she has had more than her share of misunderstandings with a wide array of people.

Regardless, NeNe is still far and away my favorite Atlanta housewife. I generally don't have feelings for other human beings, but I am interested in seeing the outcome of her paternity. I can't imagine being an adult, with nearly adult children, only to discover that you've been lied to about your paternity for years. Plus, I want to get to know her husband more, as he seems like an interesting person. I'm also willing to wager that he does one hell of a Luther Vandross impersonation. Thats probably just my latent racism, though.

Does Sheree have children? There are two kids behind her in the opening credits, but I don't remember meeting either of them yet. Have we learned all of her story yet and she is just really this boring? I'm hoping they haven't marched the skeletons out of the closet yet.

Along with my latent racism, I also have tons of white liberal guilt. Therefore, I was extremely uncomfortable with DeShawn's idea to auction people off at her charity event. Doesn't Atlanta, or the South in general, have a tenuous history with auctioning people? I don't feel comfortable going there. Of course, DeShawn is under the impression that she will be able to raise the mind-boggling, Dr. Evil sum of $1 million dollars from her charity event. If she invites 500 people, thats $2,000 per head if they all donated equally. In this economic climate, I just don't see that happening. I just gave my last $2,000 to a black guy, and he is probably going to be our next President. I think his cause is a little more worthy, DeShawn.

Am I forgetting any of the housewives? Ah yes, Lisa, but only because she is hardly ever on the show.

Well, I better wrap this up, because I just received an email from LATimes.com that says I have a chance to win a free MBA education in Encino-- and this just sounds like too great of an opportunity to pass up.....

-RJ